50 People On Their Best NSFW Life Hack

1.

skootch_ginalola:

When shaving your private areas (male or female), wet the area and the razor, ignore soap/shaving cream/gel and go straight for the hair conditioner. Shave as normal. Skin will be baby smooth with no ingrown hairs or bumps. Learned this from a stripper when I asked if she had to constantly get Brazilian waxes. Can also be used to shave legs, facial hair or shave a guy’s head.

2.

snugglesaurus:

Not sure if this works for menz, but if you have a vagina that you are masturbating and you REALLY need to get off quickly but it just doesn’t seem to be happening, tense your thigh muscles as hard as you can, until it almost hurts, then push through and keep tensing while you rub your clit – it works the best for me if I’m on my back, lifting both spread legs in the air at a 45 degree angle to the mattress/whatever and holding them there like some sort of front-up leg lift. Pushes you right over the edge, done and DONE.

Concerned about looking ridiculous? Stop worrying, the other people in the library are just jealous.

3.

shinyhappypanda:

If you’re throwing up and having trouble holding down water, fill a bowl with ice and suck on the ice cubes. The water will help rehydrate you, and it goes into you so slowly that it’s less likely to make you throw up like drinking water can. Also, supposedly sucking on the ice cube helps you stop throwing up. I tried this last weekend when I was sick, and it got me through a pretty rough night.

4.

radioactivemagic:

Every room that has a door is a bottle cap opener. Inside the frame you can use the striker plate to open any beer flawlessly.

This is only NSFW depending on where you work.

5.

avengepluto:

Headphones and blindfold during oral sex.

Before going down on her, put on some instrumental music (Explosions in the Sky works nicely) and put the headphones on her. Blindfold her or cover her eyes with a towel. The sensory deprivation magnifies the sensations she feels as you pleasure her.

6.

irvzilla:

Guys : rub one out before any major life decisions.

7.

klown_nightmares:

When you know you’re gonna throw up, drink iced tea. You will still throw up, but it’s gonna taste a lot less awful

8.

muzakx:

Form a C shape with your thumb, index and middle finger. Use the index and middle finger to stimulate the top wall of the vagina, using a come hither motion. While rubbing the clitoris with your thumb or use your tongue to really push her over the edge.

9.

this_is_balls:

Preventing the Post-Coital chaotic piss:

Immediately before you take a leak, place you thumb and index finger at the very tip of your penis right above and below the urethra. Gently squeeze your fingers together, opening up the urethra. You are now free to enjoy a piss that will fly straight and true.

10.

4ey:

During missionary position (as a guy), move your hips up and slightly away from your partner when thrusting in. This will (hopefully) stimulate her clitoris and sometimes her g-spot or u-spot if you’re doing it right. As a bonus it presses on the bottom of her vagina as well, giving her a more “full” feeling. Timing kegal contractions in unison with the thrusting is also highly encouraged.

11.

RaineRios:

If your going to drink at work, keep a bottle of hand sanitizer at your desk. When someone enters the room use it, that way they assume that vodka scent is simply sanitizer.

12.

awswaim:

I’m a little late to this thread, but I had a bit of an awakening recently after discovering erotic hypnosis. There is a chick called Isabella Valentine(and others) that makes audio tracks where you just lay down in bed, put on your headphones and sit back and enjoy whatever fantasy you want in a trance-like state.

I had a full body orgasm after 4 or 5 sessions without touching myself at all and it was much longer and more intense than I have ever had. It’s not for everyone, but I sold out for it and let myself go. It was totally worth it. I’ve never done anything like meditation or hypnosis, but if you have before it’s apparently much easier getting started.

Tl;dr The brain is the largest sexual organ.

13.

ellis1128:

Shaving your pubic hair effectively adds an inch to your dick size.

14.

TheSnoz:

Masturbation clears the mind, cures headaches and just makes you feel good.

And its free.

15.

mixolydian807:

If you stick your tounge out and pretend to shake pepper into your mouth you can actually taste it.

16.

Man_Fred_Beardman:

If you’re worried about people who borrow your computer finding porn in your internet history, have two internet browsers, only use one for porn, and hide the porn browser. I just downloaded Firefox and took Safari off my desk top (although, now Safari turns me on a little… fucking classical conditioning, man).

17.

Jackk6000:

When you kill someone, don’t forget to eat their heart so you can gain their courage. Their rich, tasty courage.

18.

Irisversicolor:

Use a beard trimmer on your snatch. Close enough to keep it nice and tidy without all the itch and razor burn! Bonus: it’s way faster and almost impossible to cut yourself.
Edit: Alright, so it is still possible to cut yourself, though I still think the likelihood is much lower and you don’t need to be nearly as careful as you would with a razor. Fellas (ladies too I guess), you may want to stretch all that loose skin out before attempting so you don’t get all chewed.

19.

Pymm:

Take both her legs and throw them over your shoulders. When entering, tilt your hips down so the top of your penis rubs nicely along the top wall of her vagina. Whenever I do this my girlfriends eyes roll back in her head, she calls me dirty names and promptly cums all over me.
Sharing is Caring.

20.

maenixon123:

if you plan to fuck both holes, go from pussy to ass, not ass to pussy. That way, some infections are avoided.

Also, if you are planning to murder someome, go to a weapon store out of town, and use a VERY common weapon. Homemade or special weapons can be too easy to track.

21.

technicolordreams:

For the guy on the bottom. If your girl is on top, slip your thumb in between and let her grind away on that. It’s simple, pleasurable, and requires a pretty minimal effort on the guys part but reaps rewards on the girls part. It brings you from dead fish to thoughtful partner without any extra thrusting, crazy workouts, or overt effort.

22.

mitusus:

Okay sex hacking, So you are getting ready to fuck a woman, and haven’t put it in yet have you? Good. Okay you may have fingered her a bit, gone down on her, but before you enter her slide your dick up and down her slit maybe even push it down on her clitoris a bit use her wetness or maybe add a bit of lube and play with her until she begs you to put it in her OR make her cum on your dick before you even put it in her, there is something about the hard shaft and head rubbing against clit/slit that fits really well together (evolution maybe?) If she asks what you’re doing tell her you want to play with her a bit and let her enjoy the ride, you will too.

23.

zachalicious:

To the ladies: use your hand as an extension of your mouth during oral. Get it nice and wet and slippery, and go in the same motion as your mouth (pretty much don’t let your hand lose contact with your lips). If you want to throw a twisting motion in there with the hands, your man will love you forever.

24.

FromageOmage:

If you’re gonna use your fingers on her, be gentle and for gods sake, trim your fingernails.

25.

bleeding_dying_love:

Guys. You want a girl to swallow and not grimace at the taste? Cut down on the red meats and certain veggies which causes the semen to be bitter and eat sweet fruits in a decent quantity. Causes the semen to have a neutral or even sweetish flavour

26.

likeabandofgypsies:

To make a woman orgasm while only using your hands, every time:

start with an hour or so of lots of intimate rubbing, grabbing of her thighs, light kissing, teasing, foreplayish stuff, rubbing and such until you get to the point where you’re about to start rubbing her pussy. Do so.

Be gentle but get slowly rougher, pressing harder and harder on her vagina.

Ok, so now you’re gonna start fingering her. Make sure she’s wet. She should be at this point. Just one finger for now though. In and out. THe usual. Do it for a few minutes that way, go between just rubbing her pussy hard and putting your middle finger in. use your MIDDLE FINGER. like, literally do the shocker, and it’s like you’re palming her pubic bone like a basketball, but stuck your middle finger inside her.

after she indicates she’s liking this, make sure you’re good and all, and then go for two fingers, your middle finger and ring finger. so if you’re using your right hand, you shold be facing her and lying on your left side. she is on her back in front of of you. do the rock’n’roll hands thing, similar to the shocker… techincally i think it actually might even be the “I love you” in sign language. eitehr way, middle AND ring finger now. and using those two fingers push up and in, and squeeze with the butt/palm of your hand and literally after you get her worked up a little and she starts grinding harder into your hand, all you have to do is move your hand up and down quickly while squeezing her pubic bone. your fingers inside her should be touching the g spot or somewhere that is sensetive at this point. usually thats where you end up with your hand in that position.

rapid hand movements up and down at a steady repetitive pace, slowly getting faster as she starts to get off a little. make sure her legs are spread out because she will start to close them because of the orgasm. I am like 75% sure that it will feel even more great of an orgasm when her legs are open. Just saying. But either way, she’ll cum.

Slow down for a second, get intimate and kiss and whatnot, and then repeat for multiple orgasms.
bone

*Note. I have gotten a girl off without even penetrating her, or even taking off her underwear, just by doing the touchy feely hour or so and lots of intimate kissing, and then rubbing her pussy and squeezing the pubic bone up and down without entering her and just getting faster and faster as she moves that way too. So this motion is really the key, along with the pressure on her pubic bone.

27.

krism142:

To get rid of an awkward public boner flex a major muscle group for as long as you can (like your thighs or your abs) and it will draw the blood away from the boner

28.

daBroviest:

If you’re a guy and you want to get off quickly, stand up and cross your legs. The added pressure in your balls really helps to quicken the ‘gasm.

29.

b30:

Afraid to talk to new girls at bars? Do this and I PROMISE you success. Next time you need a drink at the bar, walk up beside a good looking girl who is also waiting for a drink. Your goal is to have a very light 5-10 second interaction with this girl while you wait for your drink (not after you get it… always before). Just throw out one line about something relevant. Nothing creepy. Nothing that requires thought. Just a brief exchange. No matter what happens say “have a great night”, and then leave her alone ASAP. Do this many many times over the course of several weeks. Try to master this lighthearted pressure-free 5-10 second conversation. You’ll start to realize that many girls enjoy the the interaction. Some might not (boyfriend, stuck up, etc). It doesn’t mater. 5-10 seconds and you’re done. Even if you are still standing next to her for another 5 minutes, just end the interaction with a smile and a “have a great night”. After several weeks of doing this you’ll be a changed man. Bonus: I guarantee that many girls will actually be intrigued by the fact that you cut the conversation short. Their egos may even drive them to strike the conversation back up with you. Again this is a confidence building exercize that you should practice over weeks or months. Do not force anything. After this phase is done and you are comfortable, you’ll have the courage to continue the conversation when the situation just feels right. No forcing anything.

30.

Cherpyderp:

If you have a secret lover, save them in your phone as “Restricted” or “Unknown Caller” that way if the phone ever rings and your SO sees it, you can blow it off as a wrong number. This typically works for text messages as well.

31.

fappyday:

I know this is going to sound weird, but just go with me on this: I once had sex with a girl and, for whatever reason, decided to tickle her while she was on top of me. She involuntarily clamped down on mini-me like vice grips. Try it. It’s a unique experience.

32.

ElPutoAmo:

Gents, if you have a piss before you know you’re going to get head, take 15 seconds and wash your dick. Ladies, the same applies; it’s professional courtesy. I never like yodeling down the valley if it smells like a swamp, and I can’t imagine that after a night in a bar, my cock smells of lilacs and wild ginger. Keep it classy, you will reap the benefits.

33.

RobNoxious:

When going down on a woman, start at the earlobe.
And take your time.

34.

nobody2000:

Many of the men know about flaccid penis presentation and the existence of “growers” and “showers” (sounds like “show-urs”)

If you are a grower and you would like to appear more endowed without getting an erection so you can get that nice “hang” do the following.

Warm up, if you can. Rub your hands together and just hold them against your junk. Get them nice and warm. A hot shower will achieve this.

Keep yourself trimmed. You don’t need to shave per se, but definitely do some gardening.

Give your shaft a light “tug” outward. Not enough to make it hurt. Just enough to kind of give it a stretch. This, accompanied by the heat will loosen up your tendon just enough to let it hang down a bit.

Now you have a good 10 minutes of flaccid hanging power. You won’t look like a true “show-er” but you can begin the first few moments of coitus a little bit more confident…and hell – that’s when confidence counts.

35.

daSpecialK:

‘member kids. If you can smell it at the belly button. Kiss your way back up!

36.

mercurialdude:

Ladies: You have got to caress the balls when giving a BJ, whole new level of intensity.

37.

Ubenyosh:

D- Demonstrate Value
E- Engage Physically
N- Nurture Dependence
N- Neglect Emotionally
I- Inspire Hope
S- Separate Entirely

38.

Faquir15:

Guys: When going down on a woman, put a finger in her mouth and tell her to do, with her tongue, the movements she wants you do do with yours. Jesus, it works.

39.

megapocalypse:

If you’re a guy, only get magnums if you need them. If you are average or small and buy normal condoms, I won’t blink twice. If you buy magnums and shouldn’t, I will judge the SHIT out of you, you egotistical idiot. If the condom falls off when you pull out (prior to losing your erection, which you should be doing anyway), you’re a fucking moron.

40.

chloby2002:

The magnum thing is SO true. I used to date this one guy who only referred to condoms as magnums. Like instead of saying “let me grab a condom,” he’d say “let me grab a magnum.” Seriously, I can already see your penis, you’re not fooling anyone. Huge turnoff.

41.

amkamins:

You can re-moisten old pot with orange peels. Not only will it be less dry, but it will taste a little like oranges.

42.

brassmonkeybb:

Sex tip. When in missionary position, on a box spring mattress, put your hands on the front of your partners hips and push them into the bed. Aim your dick with your hips at their g-spot and maintain the stance while using your upper body to perform all of the work. When you push her into the bed the springs will push her back against you when you let up. You can do this in quick succession which will result in a hard, deep, fast paced fucking while maintaining a continuous assault on the g-spot.

43.

Milo_theHutt:

When sending pictures of your junk, never go full boner. It’s the same logic we all share when dealing with movie trailers that give away to much of the plot. This goes for big guys too. Leave a few inches for her to find on her own.

44.

Diddlesquid:

TIRED OF WRESTLING DILDOS INTO YOUR STRAPON HARNESS? Surface drag often makes wrangling a dildo through the harness ring awkward and time consuming. Avoid this by placing a plastic bag over the dildo, then easily slide the ring of the harness down the dildo over the bag. Once the ring is at the base, yank the plastic bag off the dildo like a motherfucking magician and voila! You may resume your happyfun sexytime.

45.

kwanteenzeus:

Ladies, squeeze your left thumb when giving head, it de activates the gag reflex.

A one night stand told me this after she was the first nose I felt down there..

46.

SparklesM8:

Buy peppermint gum before giving a Bj.. Chew it and keep it in the back of your mouth. Makes the most unreal sensation of cold and wet in the best possible way. Try this ASAP

47.

Benthazaal:

Don’t find your partner attractive? Fap to pornstars that look like them, your brain will start linking traits they share with the pornstar to sexy-time and complete orgasms.

48.

doublebro7:

there is not a single guy on god’s green earth that doesn’t like it when you talk dirty to him. not one. and you can’t fuck it up. if you can’t think of anything, just say dirty words, or describe what you are doing. if you’re shy about it, that’s fine too. your guy will probably be into that too, and will appreciate the effort.

49.

spottedink:

Gagging helps against dry mouth during blowjobs. Dunno bout the science, but gagging gives me hella saliva. So nifty :)

50.

masturbating = blood to your penis = blood to penis = blood not on your head = no headache