Which Is Better? New York Vs. Minnesota
I like my men to look like they just came from chopping wood out back, which seems to be the exact opposite of the NYC aesthetic.
Commute
New York: the “commute” to my office was essentially two blocks. Which was perfect/fun in the morning and nice/safe at night. I can’t imagine driving in NY, I guess, but I hate driving anyways so it would be a relief, probably. When I went to places farther away than Williamsburg, figuring out trains and etc was pretty easy.
Minnesota: the “commute” from my bed to my desk is pretty painless, tbh. There’s enough public transportation, but there could be more. Also, the city of Minneapolis thinks I am going to wait up to three minutes for the “walk” light to come on to cross the street. New York is much more realistic about this.
Winner: New York, especially if you factor in how bleak/painful/obnoxious it is to travel basically anywhere in Minneapolis during the snow months.
Food
New York: One of the most ubiquitous things people say about New York is that you can get anything, any time. No. This is not true. Trying to find a place that would bring me food at 1am on a Wednesday was a fucking nightmare. Everything was closed at like 11 or midnight. What.
It’s probably my fault for being so unprepared and getting home late without a plan–but I wouldn’t have done this if people weren’t bragging all the time about “the city that never sleeps.”
Also, another unexpected thing about food in NY is it’s hard to find healthy food? Mostly because NYC is obsessed with carbs so you can find kale and everything, but it usually comes on a carb.
Minnesota: There’s an all night deli and an all night grocery store literally 20 steps from my apartment. There’s tons of late night delivery places that are open late even on Wednesdays. Also, my city/neighborhood in particular is really crunchy, so everything has gluten-free/etc options.
Winner: Minnesota
People
New York: Holy shit New Yorkers are quiet! This blew my mind. I always thought the stereotype of New Yorkers was that they were loud. But, in Minneapolis if I walked four blocks, I’d probably get at least two people talking to me (probably both dudes) saying something simple like “hi” or something gross like “wassup baby.” Paradigm shifted. No one talks to you on the street and it is awesome.
Minnesota: On the flip side, it was a little weird that no one was friendly. I’ve also always heard from my friends that relocated to Minnesota that it was bizarre to them how cashiers and people would hold doors for them or ask how their day was, etc. I didn’t realize how much I missed this until I got on my connecting flight home from Chicago and witnessed no less than 20 people offer to help a mom traveling alone with a newborn when we all realized she was in the wrong seat.
Winner: I like how I felt like I had more privacy in New York, because less people were paying attention to me. But it is also lonely, and I love all my stupid Nordic people and our weirdo need to be helpful to everyone who crosses paths with us. Minnesota.
Night life
New York: In New York, there were a ton more bars than there were back home. Most of them seemed really cool, I would call them weekday bars because it would be a fun way to spend an exceptional week night. However, I didn’t go to any “real” bars, like Saturday-night style. I know there’s a lot of them that are a million times cooler than Minneapolis, but I also feel worried that New Yorkers are too fancy to let loose and really dance, ever.
Minnesota: More dive bars, more TVs in bars, cheaper drinks, people I am not embarrassed to dance like an idiot in front of.
Winner: New York, based on potential.
Smells
New York: NY smells like garbage let’s be real here.
Minnesota: My neighborhood smells like trees and the Dominos on my block, I guess.
Winner: Minnesota, lol.
Views
Let’s skip right to the winner here, and it’s clearly New York, even factoring in how much cheaper housing/restaurants/etc with a view are in Minnesota.
Winner: New York.
Boys
New York: I think the men in New York are more traditionally attractive? Or else, I am not sure how to say I think they are more likely to be culturally “good looking” or something, but less attractive on the whole than men in Minnesota. I like my men to look like they just came from chopping wood out back, which seems to be the exact opposite of the NYC aesthetic.
Minnesota: Felt affirmed at the airport while eyeing the men at baggage claim and reading a tweet from a friend who’d just relocated to NYC lamenting the lack of the sturdy beauty of men you find in the great white north. See also, this new think piece, Never Stop Eating: An Ode To Huskie Men on Cosmo.
Winner: Minnesota.
Happiness
New York/Minnesota: The scariest thing about New York, to me, is the amount of unhappy people who reside here. Minneapolis typically does really well on happiness studies. What happened to you all? Will it happen to me too?
Winner: Minnesota.
Overall
I’ve always thought that Minneapolis is a great city, so I don’t feel there is a “winner” between the two. If I lived in a dumpy city, there would be a clear outcome. Obviously New York has a lot of advantages that a smaller city doesn’t have, but at a certain point, it’s just a matter of preference. 
