15 X-Rated And Amazing Samantha Jones-isms

I will not be judged by you or society. I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe and kneel!

I love the stock market: a room full of screaming, sweaty men, all trying to get it up.

Who knows? He’s a man. You could lay your pussy on a table right in front of one and still not know what he’s thinking.

A guy could just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first date as he can if you wait until the tenth.

The women who wrote that book, they wrote it because they couldn’t get laid. So they constructed this whole bullshit theory to make women who can get laid feel bad.

Money is power, sex is power, therefore, getting money for sex is simply an exchange of power.

Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it’s good, you don’t have it anymore. If it’s bad, you just had sex with an ex.

Last night, I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to get dressed and go out, and pick up a guy.

You see? This is how it starts. Next thing you know, we’re only having sex three or four times a week.

This is my second most favorite thing I’ve found in there.

The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you, and the rest don’t know how to screw you.

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

The bad news is you’re fired. The good news is now I can fuck you.

I am a try-sexual. I will try anything once.

If we could perpetually do blowjobs to every guy on earth, we would own the world…and at the same time have our hands free.