Don’t Beat Yourself Up Over The ‘What Ifs’

Every day we make decisions. Some days are indecisions that could’ve been decisions. Other days are decisions that could’ve been indecisions. We live long lives even at young ages.

Some decisions we make are obvious, like paying our bills. It wouldn’t be wise to not pay the bills. We are also faced with days where we have to make harder decisions. Sometimes you have to choose whether or not you want to walk away from something you still love. You can delay some decisions for a while, but you ultimately have to face it head on at some point.

I’ve learned that the hardest person to forgive in life is yourself. Actually, that’s something I’m still learning and hoping to master at some point. It’s hard, and I don’t want to make it sound easy because it takes practice. It’s not a skill that can be learned within a few hours. We have to really commit and focus on our conflicted feelings, which is the last thing we want to do. We would rather deal with comfortable feelings than uncomfortable ones.

One thing that hurts our decision-making is how others perceive our decisions or how they perceive us in general. We think that if we make a decision we know someone won’t like, it will change how they see us. Which might be true, but that will always say more about that person than it ever will about you. We compare ourselves to others. It’s not unhealthy to do that, but if we do it too much, it will poison our thoughts and our minds. You will hesitate to make decisions if you are worried about others’ judgment. You just have to do what’s best for yourself. If that doesn’t work out, then so be it. You always will have the freedom to move on.

The decisions you make don’t have to define who you are. That’s a myth. If you get a job and after a few weeks decide to leave because it’s not what you thought you wanted, that doesn’t make you weak or a coward. If you decide to leave a relationship because you feel it’s one-sided, that doesn’t make you heartless or cold. If anxiety or depression interferes with your decision-making, that doesn’t make you a total mess. These are all feelings we feel in the short-term. You define who you are. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but the only one that will ever matter is your own.

Don’t beat yourself up over every decision or indecision you did or did not make. You won’t make every right decision. This world is too big, and time is too short. You won’t be able to explore every part of the world and decide who and what you want in your life. It sucks that it isn’t like that, but it’s something we all have to come to terms to. You’re still breathing. The decisions you have made haven’t killed you. There will always be time to make more decisions in your life. There’s no limit to what you can or can’t decide on.

Accept that everything that has happened in your life has come and gone. Embrace that you can continue your life the way you want to. Don’t let the past haunt your present or your future.