Chelsea Fagan

And while when you’re boarding the plane with no return ticket and no clear idea of how you’re going to suddenly construct an entirely new life for yourself, things can be incredibly intimidating, no drug on the planet could possibly replace the thrill. It’s wonderful.

What do you think of when you think of the All-American look? Is it a fresh-faced, eager young man with strong shoulders, big eyes, and a smile that makes you feel there is still a little bit of hope for humanity? Good, because we have found that prototype.

I am a liar. We all are. And not the bad kind, really, but not the hilarious Jim Carrey kind, either. We just say things that generally aren’t true — and much more often than I think we’d like to admit.

At first I was nice and offering to buy him things and was trying to keep the financial burden of another person living in our house off my parents. But he smokes and up until recently I was buying him cigarettes. He doesn’t have a car so he uses mine, and uses my gas…

I’ve heard 24-year-olds, without the slightest trace of irony, tell me that they just “can’t relate” to their friends with “jobs” instead of “careers” because they have “nothing to talk about.”

Going out to dinner and having everything and nothing to talk about, never running out of something to add (but perfectly comfortable with shutting up and pigging out when the food comes), that is love. What we have — what we have always had — that is love.

Why deny ourselves a chance to draw hearts with arrows through them and eat prix fixe meals for two at restaurants that are otherwise outrageously expensive? A holiday’s a holiday, just enjoy it for what it is.

This weekend, when one of your friends texts you with promises of glory, of true love, and the possibility of dollar domestics — you say no. You say no, you gather up the scraps of your dignity, and you order a pizza.

Introducing Ask A Princess, Thought Catalog’s new advice column. Every Thursday, Chelsea will be taking your questions and bestowing upon the peasants her diamond-encrusted words of wisdom.

It’s not just the deletion of social media fluff, of someone that never had bearing on your life and never will, it’s truly burning a bridge.

What would we do without the internet? Realistically, probably go to libraries and get regular vitamin D, but it’s really a moot point.

There are even those that go so far as to deliver the exact same speech about how they are “not a dessert person” every single time they take a bite of a cookie. Who are they convincing?! We all love cookies!

Francois Hollande, beating out a rather lackluster panel of opponents (including his own ex-wife, awkwaaaard), has risen to the top as the one to beat Dear Leader Sarkozy.

So, though they may be a bit cumbersome, I propose a few new terms that more succinctly get to the heart of the matter. This, my friends, is true love.

We’ll always imagine that there’s someone out there who will hand us a tissue while we make the ugly crying face, who will get drunk with us and still like us after repeated foot-in-mouth insertions, who will stay up all night talking about the intricate functions of magnets.

But how are you supposed to accept that you’ll just never see this friend for the foreseeable future, and on the rare occasions you do, have to share her with a guy who once discovered there were ashes in his beer and continued to drink the entire thing? You can’t.

If you are the kind of man who, on his way out for a night on the town or an afternoon with friends, decides to finish his otherwise respectable outfit of decent jeans and a well-cut shirt with a pair of scuffed New Balances, ugh.

Let me start by saying that I like coffee. Not love, because I don’t equate my feelings for it with things that are truly important, like my family, friends, or Sour Cream and Onion Pringles…