Chelsea Fagan

Top 100 Guys Who Wish They Could Admit, Occasionally, That Michael Fassbender Is Actually Pretty Good-Looking

From dawn until dusk, the kids of that show just ran around what appeared to be Harlem, or one of Brooklyn’s less artisan cheese shop-filled neighborhoods, with complete impunity.

But perhaps the worst part of all is the enormous tools who rub in your face just how refreshed, energized, and motivated they are on Mondays. They bound into school or work with an air about them that says, “I got more sleep than you and ate Greek yogurt with homemade granola in the morning, please punch me in the face.”

A few girls and guys who were extreme sun babies in high school, never seen (even in the depths of winter) without a deep, rotisserie-esque sheen, have aged… like milk.

And as I anticipated, it feels just so awesome. I can feel myself becoming a snob over absolutely nothing, and looking down on PC users in the coffee shop around me like plebeians rubbing some rocks together to send spark signals to each other.

My car is my safe zone, and it comes with rules. If you can’t respect them, you can drop yourself off at work/ the airport. I’m not a chauffer, these rules are to be followed.

I would allow my confections their proper cooking time, tenderly decorate them with the finest of icings, and enjoy them as they were intended to be enjoyed, sitting at a table with several stuffed animals in fancy hats, pretend-sipping out of empty teacups.

And now that graduation has come and gone for many of them, the picture is quite different. So many of them — the very people whose parents were dripping with condescension over their children going to a “real” school, despite the debt they were accruing — are unable to find jobs.

Tumblr is the black hole of all things socialization, and there is no such thing as “recreational use.” You will be blessed with all the Dr. Who and Supernatural screenshots you could ever dream of, but you will pay with your soul.

Without exception, the coffee shops I worked at had their own special brands of ass hats that came in and out, and their own ways of handling it. First and foremost, the quality of your drink is inversely proportional to how much you berate us while ordering.

It seems though that now, whatever it is you participate in, enjoy, or experience, is being fed through a second set of nerve endings and sensory receptors, because I have yet to hear about something that doesn’t involve “we.”

His wife was holding him by the arm and propping him up, and his face had become a blur of bandages and sunglasses to cover as much as he could. He told my father, in a weak, small voice, that he was sorry for how mean he had been, that he was sorry for how he had treated my parents, and that he wanted my father to forgive him.

There is OCD-Riddled Parental Figure/Full-Time Party Pooper, who will basically spend all of his/her time telling you to turn music down, yelling at you to clean up after yourself, asking that you not invite people over, reminding you that it is a weeknight, and cleaning up around you while making exasperated sighs.

I am supposed to see myself in that proverbial image of the woman in the slim skirt suit with the briefcase in one hand, the martini glass in the other, a baby cradled in her arm, and an exasperated look on her face.

Food is more than just for eating, too, it’s also for looking at in my spare time. I love browsing food porn blogs, watching the Food Network, and even just reading cookbooks for pleasure.

As much as he’s proven himself to be a colossal turd at every opportunity, it was kind of nice to see Roger prove himself useful, and display his expertise that used to be so crucial to the company (at least when it was still SC).

Let’s discuss the fact that he suffered second-degree burns and smoke inhalation while carrying this woman on his shoulder through her inferno of a house. How many politicians can you picture doing that, even if it was their own family inside?

I either spend a decent chunk of time every day washing dishes, emptying trash bins, vacuuming, and putting things away, or I will have a brief, disgusting slide into the kind of apartment that TLC would do a documentary show about before condemning it to be razed to the ground.