Chelsea Fagan

I, for one, feel that people who ask if you’re aware of how fattening your order of onion rings probably is deserve to be shot out of a cannon into the mouth of a volcano.

You are not wearing the kinds of clothes you feel best in because you perceive them to be “not in style,” “not a good label,” or “not meant for someone who isn’t skinny.”

Perhaps it would be best to make an actual list of information you acquired legitimately vs. information that you harvested from Facebook/Google/old blogs/other unfortunate sources

When I am in the throes of waiting on something until tomorrow, there is almost no limit to the other things I can do. Let’s say there is a big work project that awaits me: Time to clean my entire apartment from top to bottom.

Starting a blog and, despite having an average daily readership of three people including your mother, maintaining and growing it with love.

Living in doubt can be addictive, it can give a sense of burning hopefulness that, as long as it is not extinguished completely, can sustain someone for years on end.

You can’t guarantee that you will always be in a certain weight range. You can’t ensure perfect skin, or find a diet and exercise regime that works without fail.

The idea of owning a pet before you are financially, logistically, emotionally, or geographically ready to own one. Except fish, basically anyone can own a fish.

And why so much focus on whether someone is bad in bed without addressing whether or not they’re a good kisser? Perhaps it’s just me, but there are few things worse than someone who doesn’t know the art of a good kiss.

Receiving an unexpected package from parents or friends (the best of these, of course, are the ones that feature snack foods).

Why can we not have it all year round? Are we undeserving as a society, as a people?

“Lol, they can’t afford to keep a roof over their head! What a hilarious outfit! Lol high five bro!” It’s funny because you bought that flannel jacket for 300 dollars at Urban Outfitters.

Theon is a man who has something to prove. Everyone from his father to the hooker he secretly pretends is his girlfriend is someone he wants to put on a good show for.

This music is so good and is cutting through your heart like an infomercial knife through a series of vegetables — time to weep silently as you rock back and forth with your eyes closed.

You might have fallen for the Spice Girls and, ever since, harbored a soft spot for feminism and heinous platform booties.

Thinking all manner of random sound around you is your phone ringing, even if it’s not even remotely similar to the sound of your actual ringtone.

“Marriage doesn’t mean anything anymore,” “People get married out of fear or obligation,” “What do you have to prove?” “It’s stupid to commit to someone for life, how could you make a promise like that?”

Let’s be honest, Ursula’s brief stint as a molten-hot human chick was clearly one of the high points of this movie.