Chelsea Fagan

Having the amount of connection with your family that is healthy and positive for you. There is no set amount of attachment that one needs with the people they were born into, and if you are in an abusive or hostile environment, you don’t owe anyone your time.

Because, in case there was any confusion about it, if you deem what is happening in her life as funny or cute, you are being a terrible person.

Why is it scary, though? Part of it has to be the obvious reasons — are they going to become lame, lose sight of who they are, forget what made the two of you so close to begin with?

Sometimes the people that your ex left you for were actually much better for them, and they are happier now, and they absolutely don’t regret leaving you to get with them.

I have to take you in out of the corner of my eyes. If I can’t meet you head-on, it’s because it is all too much for me, all at once.

Snapchatting pictures of themselves getting blowjobs to their bros.

“Women of a certain age and with a specific point of view, to watch them be vivacious and glamorous and sexual, is important and revolutionary.”

Please don’t Google any pictures of Rose McGowan after about 2006. It’s a tragedy which, if you have not already been introduced to it, does not need to be a part of your life.

So many of your tagged Facebook photos have had to be deleted for professional reasons that you now have put an approval filter on them, just to streamline things.

He is in love with you, of course, but he is also in love with buying a little molly from that guy in the snapback and flopping around on top of you to the sounds of “Get Free.”

The representation of women in politics is still dismal, and a huge part of that undoubtedly stems from the fact that most of us grow up rarely seeing a woman in a true position of political power. We might hear about the errant senator, or a governor from a few states over, but the idea of a female President was simply hard to conceive.

The true pain in loving someone far away does not really come from the distance. It is the memory of what it is like to be with them that tortures you, that makes the long stretches of silence or misunderstanding unbearable.

Replacing the smoke alarm battery that has been beeping for the last several decades and to the sound of which you have simply grown accustomed.

I love watching people dance, even just rocking back and forth to a song we’ll never hear in their headphones on the subway.

Now, it’s all some kind of Smash Brothers Melee where God only knows what everyone else is looking for, and who else they’re seeing, and how they feel about you.

We all believe that we are going to find some secret decoder ring which will allow us to understand these mysterious words, and skip out that nasty middle business of actually having to find out “what is wrong,” even if it’s the question we initially asked.

First and foremost, Beast was rich. Whatever his complex family situation was before he told off the world’s bitchiest old lady and got transformed into a that-time-of-the-month Professor Lupin, he clearly came from a serious trust fund.

I want to walk out and pretend not to hear the calls behind me of “Where are you going?” “When are you coming back?” I don’t know when I am coming back, and there is no one I want to explain it to.