Chelsea Fagan

Being able to tell the difference between when a friend is joking around about something, and when they are actually trying to talk about something really serious that they are afraid/embarrassed to let other people know about.

You’re going to become that person who promises to go out to lunch with your friend and then end up canceling 20 minutes before because your bed was just so comfortable and your love was just so perfect.

Follow me on this mystical journey through all things vodka cranberry, too-tight Forever 21 dresses, and miming our way over the N-word in our favorite rap song. For it is greater than your wildest dreams.

ne of the most inarguably precious things about adulthood is the ability to buy yourself as much sugary cereal as you like, and eating it at whatever time of day your lil heart desires.

There is nothing worse than listening to people rationalize or justify or downplay the amazing, perfect food that they are about to ingest.

She would regularly work out and cook her own meals without being all judgy and weird about it, and would make fruits and vegetables swaggy again.

In some ways, it is a compliment. When you are more rude or flippant or hurtful with a very close friend, it is a way of saying to them, “I trust your love enough to know that it will weather the storm of my selfishness.”

We all know that couple who is constantly “breaking up,” making dramatic exits and carrying on these absurd public fights on a bi-weekly basis because, one can only imagine, they get some kind of thrill from being terrible to one another and making everyone else around them uncomfortable.

Then, around 5 PM, you attempt to eat a sandwich to replenish your depleted hit points and end up falling asleep in your dinner plate, covered head-to-toe in a second degree sunburn.

Afternoons spent on AIM with friends, talking about crushes and perfecting your away messages to be the perfect mix of coy and enticing. (No combination of emo lyrics and illegible fonts were too outlandish for the cause.)

Any glimmer of sun is enough of a reason to call all your friends and be like, “Where are you? Let’s find alcohol somewhere with deck chairs. I will buy you alcohol.”

Boys being afraid of showing weakness and tenderness is perhaps one of our greatest failings when it comes to raising well-rounded people, because it so greatly damages both them and everyone they learn to love in life.

You should never have to ask people for things, beg them for it, because they should want to come to you. It should be something that they either need, or love, and they come to you because they believe it’s worth paying for.

Girls should be able to go to a first date at a fancy steakhouse and pick up that check without thinking twice while the guy does the fake-out to his jacket for his wallet.

It’s not until you go inside and are covered with the kind of sunburn that falls somewhere between “purple” and “my skin is sloughing off in sheets of pain,” that everyone realizes you weren’t kidding.

He will talk to me, and the conversation will be light and easy, but so are all conversations when they have no history to define them.

You have those “silent dinners” you always feared.

I don’t even mind if my head smells like a dead raccoon by day six, I want to look perpetually Adele-chic and not have to sacrifice four hours of my day’s time with a comb and a flat iron to do so.