Charlie Shaw

Interviewers like candidates who take initiative! Even if they haven’t asked for a drug test, bring a urine sample.

It would solve a lot of problems if men broke up with women only after they’re absolutely certain this is what they want. Try picturing her sleeping with someone else. Can you stomach that? If not, then I would recommend re-evaluating your decision.

Fanny. Sorry but that word does not mean butt. It means vagina.

I had dreams every night of a crowd of faceless people with a little boy standing in front. He never spoke but I could tell he was trying to tell me something.

Yeah, no, not kidding. Wish I was! But I’m not.

The sandy and rocky terrain of the Sahara desert in western Algeria.

Every day we have a driver who shits in the parking lot.

My great grandmother was Martin Luther King Jr.’s personal secretary. They were having an affair.

“Alright then, I’ll go to hell.” – Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

My favorite teacher ever—English, freshman year of high school—walked up to my desk, picked up my white-out, took a super deep sniff, shuddered, said “that’s the stuff,” and walked away.

When I was first diagnosed, I was planning for my funeral. I never thought I would be planning my granddaughter’s wedding.