9. Twisted on so many levels.

One of my exes was convinced that I was cheating on her with both my mother and sister, so whenever I spent time alone with either of them I was bombarded with text messages and phone calls. When my mother, sister, and I went on a family vacation to New York City, she was insistent that I sleep in the hotel’s fire escape because she thought I was going to have sex with them.

Oh yeah, she also thought when I talked to my sister on the phone, my tone of voice suggested that I was trying to seduce her into having phone sex.