18. Nope, this girl definitely thinks she’s a succubus (whatever that is).

My first girlfriend tried to convince me that she was a 300-year-old succubus in the middle of a make-out session. I thought she was just joking, trying to make it a little kinkier or whatever. We kept going, and then went our separate ways. Next time I see her she has this really depressed/aloof outlook about her, so I ask her what’s up. She was still going on about the whole succubi thing, and I told her it was funny, but to give it a rest. She got mad at me. She told me she missed her master’s castle back home in Europe. At this point I was struggling on deciding what to do because she was obviously drinking the cool-aid™ and certifiably bonkers, but I really wanted to Bonk HER. Needless to say I NOPE’d the fuck out of there and didn’t talk to her for a long while. PS that kinda screwed me over for future relationships because I have no clue how to deal with a normal girl. Haven’t had a GF since. (Help!)