Charlie Elliot

They’re really awful.

The next morning I left my apartment to get coffee and there was a giant human turd on my porch with a note that said, “you shit on my heart so I shit on your porch. Fuck you.”

Cats are so dumb and it’s funny!

“I cheated on my ex 3 hours before he was flying in to see me to propose.”

Channing Tatum has nothing on these owls.

She has her own bedroom now and she really loves lollipops.

Roll into your Thursday afternoon with some lolz from this silly little lamb.

Why do I want to snuggle it so hard?

The only guy who would label himself a nice guy is one who is reflecting on an excuse about why he doesn’t get the things he wants.

“If you say you’re from Italy they go ‘Oh, I love pasta!’ What does that have to do with anything? Just because I’m from Italy doesn’t actually mean I’m sitting around eating pasta all day.”

You are constantly counting on your fingers to figure out what time it is for them and what they’re doing.

When we would have sex she would tell me what a piece of shit I was and how I was lucky to be having sex with someone as prominent as her.