Maybe We’ll Always Be Each Other’s Enigmas

I’m your little ‘enigma’, the code you’d like to decipher, the girl you keep trying to figure out, to unravel.

But little did you know, the similarities that we share, the ones you’d always point out, are the very ones that define a part of who I am. Slowly and unknowingly, you were unravelling this little enigma.

No it wasn’t attraction at first sight when I first saw you. But as time went by, as I saw you week after week, I found myself wanting to impress you. Before long, I found myself wanting you. Only that I wasn’t prepared to let you in, even though you invaded the part of me I kept locked up for so long. Before you, I was broken beyond repair. I was insecure and afraid. And in front of you, a man who had it all together, I couldn’t help but retreat a little more into my shell, even though you taught me how to hope. Maybe that’s why I kept a poker face, an unmoving arm when you touched me for the very first time. Except that I wanted your touch to linger a little longer. But you retracted too quickly. And that’s you. You reach out and against all reason, I reach out and when I finally do, you pull away. You never gave me any signs that you wanted me, just subtle hints that I probably read too much into. Damn me for hoping. Damn me for falling.

Time went by and we no more contact. Just random conversations out of nowhere, with me smiling at every text you sent, with me holding on to every word you said. Except that I was probably one of the many. And I guess somewhere along the way, getting to know me more wasn’t part of your to-do list any longer.

I don’t know you. Not at all, even though you claim you’re an open book. To me, you’re the enigma. The one who appears and disappears without any warning.

Maybe we’ll always be each other’s enigmas. Maybe that’ll always be us. Similar in so many ways, yet never able to truly figure each other out. So for as long as we both continue playing this game, I’ll be your little enigma and you’ll forever be the mystery I’d die to uncover.