Christopher Hudspeth

If you’ve slept in a bed, had a roof over your head, water and hot meals within the past twenty-four hours — then life could be far crueler.

Drivers who lollygag at green arrows. Some of us have places to be! Are you unsatisfied with the hues and tones of this green arrow, so you’re lingering until the next one?

If you have a shopping cart crammed full of groceries, and the person behind you has a single pack of gum, be generous and let them go first.

Is it because we were naïve adolescents? Or were we actually full of the hope and confidence necessary to accomplish our visions, before being drained of that conviction over the years?

Calling spaghetti “pasquetti” isn’t cute anymore. Say “spa.” Now say “ghetti.” Spaghetti.

When dining at a fast food joint, ask for a water cup, and then fill it with Sprite. You may be obeying your thirst, but you damn sure ain’t abiding by the law.

Take a few moments to count your blessings. Yes, the beginning of a workweek can feel tedious — but if you have a job be grateful. If you don’t, just appreciate what you do have, like the fact that you woke up today!

Here’s the concept. Select a 12-man roster, choosing only from players who’ve competed in Olympic basketball for Team USA, since 1992.

The fact that midnight is the start of a new day and it isn’t whenever you wake up.

Completing a form on the internet without missing a required field, on the first attempt.

Statistics show that every 10 seconds, a procrastinator puts off significant work to watch Thankskilling on Netflix.

Don’t spend too much time on Instagram trying to decide if Hudson or Amaro is the more aesthetically pleasing effect on your picture.

If you watched Rocko’s Modern Life as a child, I’m certain you were too youthful and naïve to fully appreciate the adult jokes and innuendo that the cartoon was chock-full of.

What is a ‘Yeah, me neither’ statement? It’s a statement describing a thought, feeling or action that one is only revealing in the hopes that others can relate. If the general public can’t empathize, then the person relinquishes that declaration, playing it off and smoothly stating, “Yeah, me neither.”

When you’re in a relationship, often times it seems that everybody wants you. Of course as soon as you’re single nobody even glances in your direction, making you remorseful that you may have missed out on what could’ve been a great sexual encounter or even your future husband/wife.

There’s an obvious reason why the role of Iron Man suits Stinson well and the keyword is in this sentence. It‘s “suits,” folks. Iron Man is fully dependent on his suit in the same manner that Barney is reliant on and obsessed with his suits.

Waterproof Cell Phones. Throwing friends into the pool is a lost art, do you know why that is? Well you can ask Siri, but my guess is that nobody wants to be responsible for ruining someone’s $500 iPhone.

Nobody likes bad breath, especially a girl who’s being approached by a guy that’s suffering from a strong case of it. It’s inexcusable, really.