Christopher Hudspeth

There’s a strong possibility that running away won’t be as easy or well lit as the movies make it seem.

You’re smoking. You don’t ever smoke.

Getting the username you actually wanted. Not since like 2001 has the ideal first choice panned out in my favor.

When it comes to birthdays, anniversaries and holidays, single people’s debit cards don’t have to endure so many painful swipes.

You learn of monumental, noteworthy personal facts that would’ve remained secrets had you not stumbled upon them coincidentally.

At some point you’ve got to question if there’s a way to spice up your love life or if you’re just really that busy.

I don’t know that any of us really think this time will be different so much as we hope that it is.

To be like the cool guys Channing Tatum plays in his movies instead of the characters Michael Cera does.

It’s similar to that shocked look a person gets when they see a car wreck, so that’s gives you an idea of their inner emotions.

I have a ton of work to finish. You’re aware of that, but you’re still going to call, and with the conviction of the most gifted salesman, pitch me the idea of going out.

For those of us with a filter and some insecure tendencies, liking and being liked is hard labor. We carry around a lumpy sack full of giant turnoffs, like a self-conscious Santa Clause.

A quick recap of last season is given to remind everyone why they (justifiably) hate Lori and that Rick isn’t taking anyone’s bickering anymore. The Ricktatorship begins.

You should’ve seen me before, back when I wasn’t broken. Really, I wish you could’ve. It wasn’t always tense and complicated. I wasn’t always damaged goods.

Always be skeptical of kids, twins and old people. Don’t profile or discriminate, but treat them as if they’re surrounded by yellow ‘caution’ tape.

In these seven videos you won’t see any bottles popping, booties shaking or bands playing casually in a brightly lit room.

I was sweating profusely (which did a great job of disguising any tears that may, or may not have leaked from my eyes); legitimately worried because I’m nowhere near as accomplished as I’d like to be.

That last slice of pizza is yours. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

When you tell somebody that they “look good today,” it’s important to realize that the more astonished you appear, the less of a compliment it becomes.