The 10 Best ‘Mean Girls’ Quotes To Use In Day-To-Day Life

Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.

Updated 12 years ago, March 24, 2013

Three things. One, these are my personal favorites to use habitually, but I understand that my opinions don’t speak for all Mean Girls lovers in the world. Two, I’m a dude so as much as I’d love to use, “Boo, you whore!” on my friends, I don’t — it just wouldn’t feel right. Three, these are in no particular order or ranking. Just 10 quotes that I make a conscious effort to incorporate into every single conversation. If your favorite lines aren’t in here, please feel free to enlighten me with what quotes you prefer. I’m just trying to be a better Mean Girls quoter. Aren’t we all?

1.

I’ve tried to alter this phrase by replacing Glen Coco with the name of the person being spoken too, but it simply isn’t the same. If a friend does something worthy of praise, this is automatically the way I congratulate them automatically. Everyone is Glen Coco when they’re winning at life. This should be a term we use to commend successes, small or significant.

2.

If a friend is potentially going to hookup with someone, or the topic of sex is even being discussed, this is the immediate piece of advice to give them. If you’ve mastered the art of deadpan delivery, it’s even better. Say it sternly, just like Coach Carr, the underage student predator he was.

3.

This is a viable response or comeback to anything anyone says. It’s the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of quotes, there is literally no wrong way to use it. Just know that by deciding to ask me a questions, there is ALWAYS a risk that I’ll respond with these four words as my answer.

4.

It’s just really fun to use this line whenever something goes awry or resembles unpleasant living conditions. Electricity went out? Hell no, I did not leave the south side for this! Police cars in the neighborhood responding to a disturbance? Hell no, I did not leave the south side for this! Remote batteries died? Hell no, I did not leave the south side for this! Then I always laugh hysterically, as if I’ve just delivered the greatest punchline of all time.

5.

If butter or margarine is around, I’ll pop the age-old question and much like the Ashton Kutcher line, draw confused looks from people who don’t know the quote. Honestly this is partially why I look forward to eating out. When hitting up Denny’s or IHOP after a night of bars and clubs, they don’t just present you pancakes topped with a slice of butter. They’re presenting you an opportunity to put your Mean Girls quoting abilities to good use, and isn’t that all any of us really want out of life?

6.

I’m a fetch loyalist who fully intends on doing my part to make fetch happen. When you find a cause you believe in, you fight for it — and damnit, this is my KONY project. Soon I’ll have a promotional video along with wristbands and whatnot in a ‘Fetch Action Kit,’ spreading the word and doing whatever it takes to make fetch famous.

7.

I probably over use this more than any other Mean Girls line, mainly because the opportunity to say it presents itself so often. Essentially any occasion where someone is about to have a seat in a room where there are 2+ persons, I’m going to shout this at them with the pent up anger and frustration of Gretchen Weiners, only I follow mine up with a “just kidding.”

8.

What you can’t do is sit with us — you can, however, go shave your back now. Whenever someone gives attitude or speaks rudely, this is the response they get. Something about dismissing someone and telling ’em they can go away is so epic, but the cherry on top is insinuating that their back hair is out of control and in need of maintenance. Think about it. “You can go away now.” Meh, that’s alright, but not nearly as effective as telling someone to kick rocks and take care of the jungle growing on their spine.

9.

This line is rather helpful when you need something to say in an awkward situation, and sometimes acknowledging the current scenario’s discomfort can ease the tension. Of course, sometimes it can make it even more uncomfortable, but hey, at least you can happily quote Mean Girls while staring social anxiety in the eyes.

10.

I don’t even know the context in which I use this, I just know that these words come out of my mouth pretty often. It’s basically something I just yell out every few hours, and once in a while it may actually fit the situation. Once you’ve seen Mean Girls over twenty times, you suffer from a syndrome that forces you to blurt out quotes instinctually. It’s a gift, and you shouldn’t take your abilities lightly.