5 Conditions Of Chivalry (Other Than Dead)

In 2012 it’s often assumed that the creation of good mannered gentleman has come to a screeching halt. Apparently the making of chivalrous individuals was discontinued and the mass manufacturing of liars, cheaters and inconsiderate jerks skyrocketed. As a result, we constantly hear the phrase “CHIVALRY IS DEAD.” While it’s easy to mistake extraordinarily uncommon for nonexistent, we should consider some of the other possibilities.

1. Chivalry Isn’t Dead, It’s On Life Support: What does that even mean, you ask? Well a while back I saw a guy open a door for his girlfriend. As she entered he stuck his foot out and playfully tripped her. We’re in a generation where sarcasm, irony and somewhat rude humor are at an all time high. People deflect with cynicism and mockery so often that sometimes we display our affection through uncouth actions. That is chivalry on life support. Courtliness on a ventilator, with a feeding tube down its throat as it lives on, barely.

2. Chivalry Could Be Dead, But It Shows Up In Holograph Form Like Tupac:

The definition of “Holographic Chivalry:”Acts of chivalry committed with ulterior motives. Typically this occurs when a male creates the illusion of being a gentleman in the hopes that it results in some form of sex.

In simpler terms, Holographic Chivalry is a dude pretending to be nice so that he can get in a girl’s pants. It’s chivalry but in actuality it isn’t. At times it looks disturbingly real(much like the Tupac holograph at Coachella) but those with a good eye can distinguish the fraud from the authentic.

3. Chivalry Is Viciously Murdered By Certain Girls: The word “girls” is being used specifically because grown women don’t kill chivalry. A girl who refers to herself as “a bad bitch” and posts over-the-top, duckface-laden self-portraiture on Facebook attracts a specific type of dude, and he isn’t typically a courteous one. If posting gratuitous self-shots on the internet for 70 Facebook “likes” makes the girl feel confident, she can expect to receive multiple comments along the lines of, “Damn ma — u sexy as hell”, but she shouldn’t bank on that same fellow opening any doors or pulling out any chairs for her.

4. Chivalry Is Contemplating Suicide: Chivalry is debating ending itself, mainly because many times its appearance isn’t greeted pleasantly. Some in this era find the courteous types cheesy and refer to them as lame. In other words, when a guy tries being a gentleman multiple times and gets shot down or walked all over, he may try other methods – such as douchebag-ery. When this happens, chivalry is taking a handful of pills, washing it down with some whisky and potentially calling it a life.

5. Chivalry Is Alive If You Look In The Right Places: Clubs, bars and gyms may be the places where you’ll find the most aesthetically pleasing guys, but are those the best locations to seek out a companion? Often times, physical attraction takes precedence over ambition, brains and personality in general. Here’s the thing; in a lot (NOT ALL, but A LOT) of scenarios, good looking guys don’t necessarily feel the need to be the nicest people because when you’re attractive, you are generally able to draw in more attention from the opposite sex. I’m not saying this is right, but it is the sad truth in a large margin of cases. Guys who are less physically appealing but genuinely nice tend to get less attention. As a result, they appreciate and take care of the ladies who do give them the time of day. It’s unfortunate but spot on, getting to know people is the best way to find a true gentleman. Until then, many will adapt the Nelly Furtado mindset: Chivalry is dead but you’re still kinda cute.

Whatever state chivalry is currently in, I know it isn’t dead. If women refuse to accept anything less than a chivalrous gentleman, then eventually they’ll find him. It’s almost just a matter of having patience. Although it seems like time is of the essence and everyone is in a rush to find someone to be with before the impending zombie apocalypse goes down. Hmm, when this inevitably happens will we say that “Chivalry is Walking Dead?”