6 Things We Shouldn’t Spend Much Money On

1. Chapstick: In my 23+ years of life, never have I (or anyone I know for that matter) ever managed to completely finish a stick of lip balm. It’s absurd to splurge on the expensive balm brands (e.g. Burt’s Bees), when the chances of one actually lasting though its entirety is rather implausible. In all likelihood the chapstick will end up being accidentally washed and dried, slip out of your pocket/purse at some point or vanish into the mysterious, baffling abyss that seems to claim the existence of most chapped lip prevention products. Buy the ones that are a buck a piece — they’ll prevent dry, crusty lips and when you inevitably lose it, you won’t feel so bad.

2. Sunglasses: I NEVER purchase sunglasses; you know what I prefer to do? When I attend a sporting event or a show of some sort, I find the Lost & Found section, declare that I have misplaced some black shades (Ray-Ban’s if they ask for specifics) and nice times out of ten, they have some there for me to unjustly claim as my own. Look, of course Gucci, Vercase, Oakley and all of those other designer shade makers craft plenty of fantastic looking protective eyewear, but are they really worth breaking the bank over a brand name? They are just as fragile and easy to misplace as the pair of $9 shades at the gas station. If you want to impress folks by being able to display a well known brand’s logo, then by all means, splurge. For those of you who constantly lose and/or break small objects, I’d recommend that you don’t squander too many greenbacks on a pair of shades that are destined to be broken or lost, and wrongfully claimed by conscienceless individuals like myself.

3. Flash drives: It’s important to be cautious with what kind of material you save to your flash drive, because these tiny data holders are rather elusive to say the least. The only reason to invest a higher amount on a flash drive is because of capacity. Sometimes 4GB just won’t cut it, so you’ve got to go the larger, more expensive route; that’s perfectly alright. Just keep in mind that there is a high risk that comes with these gizmos and unless you have it hooked snugly on your lanyard, be very careful what you spend on and where you place your personal/confidential information yielding devices.

4. Socks: First of all, they are worn on a sweaty, odorous part of the body that’s typically covered by sneakers and rarely visible. Secondly, they all end up getting holes in them after a solid amount of wear and tear, regardless of their supposed quality. Not to mention the all but proven fact that there is a pesky sock monster in every dryer. In a vicious cycle, he crusades around, hell-bent on consuming your foot garments with no consideration or compassion. Consider how often you can only find one sock in a specific pair or you’ve noticed multiple pairs of socks vanish erratically? You can wash socks and dry them with caution but typically your sock drawer will be full of miss-matched and holey foot attire.

5. Headphones: If there is one specific circumstance in which frugalness is recommended, it has got to be the moment in which one buys headphones. There are legitimate models that provide specific features such as noise cancellation, higher sound quality and things of that nature, but there’s still something unavoidable that happens sooner or later with every pair of earphones. One glorious day, you’ll be having a jam session, when suddenly you’ll duly note that moving the headphone chord in a very specific manner causes the sound in one of the speakers to go out. Once this dreaded instance occurs, the headphones capabilities will continue to deteriorate rapidly, until eventually you’re forced to move or hold the chord in a very specific manner to muster any type of sound out of these overpriced, poorly made, hearing mechanism.

6. Lottery/Scratch Tickets: Just to give you an idea how awful of an investment the lottery is, here are a few things you have better odds of than winning it:

1. Dying from parts falling off of an airplane
2. Dying in an airline related terrorist attack.
3. Dying via an asteroid.
4. Winning an Academy Award.
5. Meeting death by a vending machine.

Look, you get the picture; devoting too much of your budget to a game with slim chances of a positive outcome isn’t the most brilliant concept. Scratchers offer better (still low) chances of winning, but the amount of money is significantly less.