Why Every Girl In Her Twenties Is A Paradox

Our twenties. Years to explore, years to have good times, years to make mistakes and learn from them. But these years are also some of the most confusing of our lives. We’re trying to figure out the world. Figure out other people. But most of all, figure out ourselves. We as females are paradoxes during these fabulous, yet horrific, years. Did I say we make mistakes? Yeah, lots of those. Here’s why every twenty-something woman is a paradox.

We want to be beautiful but we don’t want to put in the effort.

Tuesday: Oh shit, I woke up too late for work again. Okay, dry shampoo, dry shampoo. Wednesday: I woke up late AGAIN?! Alright, more dry shampoo, more dry shampoo. Thursday: Is my hair THAT greasy?! I think it can go another day. Ugh, I forgot to order contacts again. I’ll just have to wear my glasses. Oh Jesus, I’ve had these glasses since the 7th grade. Whatever, they’re…vintage. I’m too lazy to paint my face today. I read in some magazine that all natural is the way to go. Yes, I’m making a statement. My leggings have a hole in the crotch, UGH. Whatever, I paid good money for these. Who’s looking there anyway. I’ll wear a long shirt to cover it. And the list goes on, and on, and on.

We want boyfriends but we are too busy enjoying the single life.

We tell ourselves we’re totally ready to settle down. We need something consistent in our lives, someone to care about other than ourselves. Left. Left. Left. OH, he’s cute – SWIPE RIGHT! We end up shopping for boys on dating apps. Preferring pointless attention from strangers who end up meaning nothing to us. We’d rather get free drinks from random guys at the bar than approach one we’ve been locking eyes with all night. It’s the single game, we know how to play, and we’ve become pros at it.

We say there isn’t enough time but we don’t spend the time we do have wisely.

Volunteering at the homeless shelter sounds like a good idea, but I just don’t have the time. Learning a new skill at work is tempting, but I just don’t have the time. Getting to know the person next to me would be great, but I just don’t have the time. Instead, I’ll spend all night scrolling through Instagram stalking my ex’s new girlfriend and binge watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix. I’m totally Team Jess. Dean is too nice of a guy, anyway.

We want to be happy but we don’t help ourselves enough. 

What makes me happy? My family and friends make me happy. But I don’t take the time to visit my family on the weekends. And I turn down plans when my friends ask me to go out. Reading makes me happy, but I haven’t picked up a book in over a year. Enough sleep at night makes me happy because I’m well rested the next day. But I’d rather stay out partying past midnight than get eight hours. We know the things that make us feel better in life, but we just don’t do them.

We decide that we want to move forward but we keep revisiting the past. 

Remember that ex you dated years back who treated you like shit? You know what’s a fantastic idea? To keep going back to him, time after time that he continues to fuck up. That’ll for sure help you move on and get over him. We claim that we want to advance in life and let go of the past, but we do stupid things that make us go backward instead. This can refer to huge life events or even the smallest that are still hurtful. What about that night you had the brilliant idea of taking 9 tequila shots with Amber because she told you tequila speeds up your metabolism? Well sure, you definitely lost weight that night. From throwing up uncontrollably. Thank Amber for holding your hair back, at least. But odds are that you’ll be out partying with your girlfriends in the future and decide to reintroduce yourself to tequila. You know the rest of this story.

We think we want to be loved but we never actually accept love. 

We complain that our friends have boyfriends, go on dates, etc. But the truth is that we don’t make ourselves available enough to do the same. What happened to that guy who sat behind you in Algebra? The one who asked you out over and over again after he let you copy his homework? Or that guy you met at a painting class who you had great conversations with? Something was wrong with his teeth. That’s right, I remember now. Can’t forget about Alex – you friend zoned the shit out of him after he showed that he obviously had feelings for you. But you didn’t want to risk losing your friendship. Oh yeah. Even though you think he’s totally hot. I could go on and on, but the point is that we never give a chance to any of these guys. We push away the people in our lives who may actually care about us. They want to give us love and we deny it.

We say we have no money but then we spend it on unnecessary desires.

Food, alcohol and clothing. Those are my top three weaknesses, at least. Whatever it is that we’re spending money on, I doubt these things are detrimental to our well-being. We need to be smarter, budget better and overall put a little more thought into what we are buying before we pull out our credit card. You know you struggled to make rent last month. And you probably will this month…and the month after…and the month after…

We like to say we’re adults but we don’t really want to take responsibility. 

“Adulting.” What the hell is that?! Well I’m in my twenties. I can legally drink, I live in an apartment, I have a job. So I must be an adult, right?! Eh, wrong. You may have all the requirements, but when it comes down to the wire, you don’t want to take on all of the responsibilities of actually being an adult. You miss doctor appointments, your bills are never paid on time, you drink too much, you’re late for work, you forgot to feed your cat last night…and yesterday morning? Your cat hasn’t eaten for a whole day? Let’s act like adults and show the world we know what we’re doing, ladies! Wait…do we know what we’re doing? Oh dear.

Despite all of this, we are doing just fine. We are very complicated beings and all of this just comes with the package deal. We’ll get our shit together, eventually. In the meantime, let’s freaking embrace our illogical personalities and enjoy the roller coaster of a ride called our twenties.