24 TV Boyfriends That Were Actually The Worst — I’m Looking At You Danny Castellano

Dean Forester, Gilmore Girls. The collective dating history of the Gilmore Girls were, to quote Phoebe Buffay, a who’s who of human garbage. And, Dean is the most garbage.

By Caroline Gerdes

Updated 8 years ago, July 13, 2016

1. Barney Stinson, HIMYM

Back in the day, I loved How I Met Your Mother. It was a goofy, buddy comedy. Other than the excruciating premise that meandered for far too long of meeting said mother, the show also became unwatchable because of Barney’s sexism. They exhausted the comedy and Barney became too misogynistic to bear. Robin, he basically tricked you into a proposal, what were you thinking?

2. Mr. Big, SATC

Mr. Big may be the quintessential bad boyfriend. He came with baggage, was closed off, made Carrie talk like a crazy person and the whole thing dragged on for too long. That’s without the added television and film spectacle of adultery and Big’s stint as a runaway groom.

3. Richard Wright, SATC

Richard’s level of sleaze made him creepy. That sex scene where Smith waits for Sam in the hotel lobby is downright disturbing without added frills or drama because Richard is downright off-putting.

4. Danny Castellano, The Mindy Project

I hate Danny Castellano. But I love The Mindy Project. I sincerely hope he and Mindy don’t end up together. Danny’s actions are downright disrespectful and pretty sexist. In the infamous “I Slipped” episode, Danny, well, slips when he goes for fifth base — without being waved in beforehand. Since he sheepishly acquiesces when Mindy asks him to stop, this is not the biggest problem with his behavior. The slut shaming that follows is what is particularly unsettling. Let’s not forget Danny refused to commit. He puts his family ahead of Mindy and his son. And, he doesn’t want her to work. Danny, you are the absolute worst.

5. Clark, The Americans

Poor Martha. Clark isn’t even real. He is an alias for a KGB spy who is manipulating her. Which not only makes him a bad boyfriend, but emotionally abusive and terrifying.

6. Ross Geller, Friends

Ross gets this pass as a goofy, nice guy. But, watching Friends as an adult has taught me that Ross is an asshole. He is totally unsupportive of Rachel’s career, actually he does almost everything he can to sabotage it. And, they may have been on a break, but to quote Rachel he “had a hell of time at the wake.” And, we aren’t even going to get into the way he treated Mona.

7. Adam Sackler, Girls

To quote Hannah, Adam treated Hannah’s heart like “monkey meat.” And, that Mimi Rose nonsense, could you imagine returning to your own apartment to find that?

8. Desi, Girls

Where to even begin? At best, he is a whiner and emotional terrorist. At worst, he’s a cheater and a flake — remember when he stood Marnie up and she had to perform alone?

9. Dan Humphrey, Gossip Girl

*Spoiler* Because Dan was Gossip Girl all along and the ramifications of that on the women he supposedly loved are pretty unforgiveable, despite how the characters glossed over it.

10. Patrick Murray, Looking

He’s the emotionally complicated protagonist. We get it. But the cheating and self-sabotage can be too much. I mean, remember his Halloween party outburst?

11. Justin, Parks and Recreation

This is the voyeur who makes Leslie feel insecure about being interesting and sets her mother up for humiliation. Dumping him was a smart move, Leslie.

12. Dennis Duffy, 30 Rock

Because he was on To Catch A Predator … Because he called Liz dummy … Because he talked about Rat Kings at dinner with Liz’s boss … Really, you need more?

13. Nick Miller, New Girl

New Girl’s Nick and Jess dynamic reinforces the unhealthy TV stereotype that yelling at each other and being in fights all the time is the same thing as passion. It’s gonna be a long life if you can never be at peace with your spouse, or have ambitions that include living on the same planet. Remember when Nick wanted to be a long haul trucker on Mars? Also, the man is basically a giant irresponsible baby who can’t save money or clean up after himself.

14. Dean Forester, Gilmore Girls

*Cracks knuckles and stretches neck* Here we go, Gilmore Girls. I freaking love Gilmore Girls. But, the collective dating history of the Gilmore Girls were, to quote Phoebe Buffay, a who’s who of human garbage. And, Dean is the most garbage. He was married to Lindsay. He constantly stunted Rory’s ambitions. He was overly sensitive. And, he had a short fuse.

14. Logan Huntzberger, Gilmore Girls

Rory is garbage when she dates him. She becomes a Yale brat. He also has a horrible family that makes Rory feel terrible. Logan is the living worst. To quote Jess, he’s a “blond dick at Yale.”

15. Jess Mariano, Gilmore Girls

Jess gets a bad wrap because he ghosts Rory and toys with her emotions. But, in the end, he does grow up and becomes the best adult of her Rory’s boyfriends.

16. Christopher Hayden, Gilmore Girls

He’s another immature male on Gilmore Girls. Christopher does eventually get it right. But, his impulsivity and ego made him an unreliable partner.

17. Luke Danes, Gilmore Girls

I shipped as hard as the next fan on Lorelai and Luke. But, Luke treated Lorelai terribly with the whole April/refusing to set a wedding date storyline. I am just hoping that the reboot gives fans some closure following those dismal final seasons. I hope we get the old Luke and Lorelai back!

18. Lucious Lyon, Empire

Lucious is the anti-hero we love to hate. He’s a cutthroat businessman whose scandalous decisions make for good TV. But, he’s actually done some pretty evil stuff. At times, we catch ourselves rooting for a Lucious and Cookie happy (not sure if happy is the right word) ending. However, Cookie is bringing way more to the table and has already given enough to Lucious.

19. Nick Andopolis, Freaks and Geeks

He was just so annoying. But, once again, Freaks and Geeks hits you by bringing out repressed memories. We all had our own cringe-inducing Nick Andopolis.

20. Larry Bloom, Orange is the New Black

He used Piper’s pain for his own gain with that Modern Love piece. Then he sleeps with her best friend while she’s behind bars. Piper’s no treat, but jeez Larry.

21. Andy Dwyer, Parks and Recreation

Before Andy was an adorable husband to April Ludgate, he was the crappy mooching boyfriend of Ann Perkins. Remember how he stayed in his casts for too long so A-cakes would have to keep taking care of him? Andy, you are lucky that Leslie made you straighten up and gave you a job.

22. Ryan, The Office

Where to even start? To quote the Subtle Sexuality song, he’s a male prima donna. He is a liar, he threatens Jim and he gets arrested for white-collar crime. On a good day, he is rude to Kelly, arrogant and makes her lie and say he is her boss. Although, in many ways, Kelly and Ryan sort of found each other. I mean, he did give his baby an allergic reaction so he and Kelly could runaway together.

23. Fitz, Scandal