I Gave You My Heart, And You Gave It Right Back To Me

I know I said it before but I felt it was necessary to say it again.

Thank you.

Thank you for having loved me, for having cared about me, for showing me the beauty of falling in love once more.

Thank you for believing in me far more than I could ever believe in myself. You were everything I wanted and what I’ve looked for. I’d gotten accustomed to living life alone, but you stood in front of the door and waited. You waited for me.

I thought I found my partner in life, my partner in crime, my running buddy, and essentially the love of my life.

I gave you my heart and told you to keep it.

I realize now that was the problem. I forced you to keep it when you never wanted it in the first place. You were too cowardly to say anything and I found you slowly backing away.

The day I asked for my heart back, you returned it to me with ease.
You didn’t ask, you didn’t wonder, you never chased after me.

All I wanted was for you to realize that I’m worth fighting for, but I guess you never really did know me. You never really did try to break down my walls.

You are just a fleeting soul in this world with the cunning ability to win women’s hearts with your kindness and caring heart.

But baby, you don’t know how to love.

Love is a connection – one that you barely nurtured. Love is effort; a move that takes more than buying me flowers for Valentine’s Day and giving forehead kisses. Love is a yearning to paint the town red and adding gold stars in the sky. Love is knowing when you found someone worthwhile and giving it all you have because you love that person. Love is the extra thump in your heart when you see the person approaching you and knowing that only they make you feel that way.

See baby, you don’t know how to love.

Regardless I want to thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for not telling me to stay when I said I was done. Thank you for not trying to work on “us.” Thank you for all those days where I had to second-guess myself, my thoughts, my actions, and my feelings.

Through the pain, I realized I’m alive. Through the shattering heartbreak, I walked away a stronger version of myself. Through the lonely nights, I learned that I’m worth somebody’s time and love even though that somebody isn’t you. Through the days when I had to look in the mirror and see my tired face that had been swallowed with sadness, I finally understood that I deserved someone who can see value in my being.

So to the man who returned my heart, thank you.

Thank you because I finally realize that I deserve someone better than you.