I Dreamt Of Flying Home

I had a dream last night that I needed to be somewhere miles away from where I am. There were no such thing as airplanes in my dream-reality, so I built myself a pair of wings to fly there. They were like little-girl, dress-up fairy wings with lots of sparkles. But I had never flown before, and halfway to my destination, a storm hit and the wind grew too strong for me to continue.

I touched down to rest at a house where a group of people from various points in my past were living together, carrying out their lives in a place somewhere between where I used to be and where I wanted to go. I wrapped my exhausted wings around each one of them in hugs that felt like I had finally come home. They murmured in my ear that I could stay there forever- that my wings were too fragile to carry me where I was trying to go. They said they would love and take care of me in this place where time was meaningless and I would be safe. Gently, they clipped my dirty, rain-soaked wings from my shoulders. It was just so they could dry, they tried to assure me-but deep down I knew better.

After they all fell asleep, I softly kissed each of their heads and crept out into the night. I wanted them to know I loved them even though I couldn’t stay. Time still meant too much to me. Alone once more, I began to walk, my ruined wings tucked under my arm-almost all of the sparkles were gone. I woke up before I reached where I was trying to go, but I know I made it there.

And I hope that wherever this finds you, you remember that just because something feels familiar, it doesn’t mean it’s right. No one else is walking in your shoes, flying with your wings, or knows what you need better than you do. Saying no might make them angry, but saying no might make you free.