This Woman Accidentally Ended Up In The Middle Of A Sting Operation And She Tweeted The Whole Wild Story

It's story time, guys.

Updated 7 years ago, April 22, 2018

A woman types at the computer — Unsplash / Sergey Zolkin

Buckle up, you guys, because I have a wild Twitter find for you. Yesterday, Twitter user Erin Burr started this thread about her crazy day, which is actually absolutely bonkers. Seriously, you’re gonna want to make yourself a bag of popcorn, prop up your feet somewhere comfortable, and read on.

It all started when her dog pooped on the floor:

Someday I will tell you the story of the day I had today, and it will be the greatest twitter story I have ever told.

Someday.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

I feel like I should just have another beer and tell it now.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

This story starts with my dog taking a shit on the bathroom floor, and ends with me cleaning out a meth house.

Hold up, I need a beer.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Okay. Let’s do this. pic.twitter.com/R1Zvr6jDqD

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

It’s story time, guys.

So about a week ago, Dwight took a shit on the bathroom floor. It was my fault; I was gone a lot longer than I’d expected. So when I walked in the house and smelled it, I thought yeah, okay. Harsh but fair.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

So I walk into the bathroom to clean it up, and look down and…there is a footprint in the dog shit.

Adam was at work the whole time.

I hadn’t stepped into the bathroom, but I checked my shoes because…what.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

It was not my footprint.

You guys. I was shook.

A ghost stepped in dog shit in my bathroom and did not even clean it up.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Because that’s not creepy at all.

We live in a little compound with four units, and we’re good friends with the people in two of them. The third was rented out for just this month to a very strange couple with an adorable husky puppy.

So I ask the friends.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

“Um, hey, did anyone come in our house this afternoon and go in our bathroom and step in dog shit and then leave?”

…

No. Not the friends.

At this point I feel like it’s even odds ghost/weird neighbors. Nothing is missing, so I clean up the shit and start locking my doors.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

But from there, it just gets weirder.

Fast forward to today. I’ve been locking my doors and closing windows because the neighbors are creepy. I lock up, and head out to my car so I can pick up the kids I babysit from school. I’m parked in the alley out back, which is super convenient.

Usually.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Today, however, the end of the alley is blocked off by at least four unmarked police cars. There are a dozen cops. I can kind of see someone handcuffed on the ground. Lots of plainclothes cops. Shit is going down.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

It’s a dead-end alley. I’m blocked in. I figure I need to ask them if they can move the arrest over a few feet. Nbd. I set my car keys, phone, and wallet down on the seat of the car. And then, distracted af, I hit the lock button.

And close the door.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Noooo, Erin!!!

You guys.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Have you ever locked your whole life in a car in the middle of a police raid.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

I do not recommend it.

I froze. Like a deer in the headlights. And I literally looked up at the sky and said…wait what happens now.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Let me tell you what happens. I immediately start trying to break into my car through the window that’s cracked open.

And then I realize there are like A DOZEN COPS AT THE END OF THE ALLEY.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

And I do not have time to be arrested for breaking into my own car.

So I think, okay, I’ll just go use the computer to…email someone. For help.

But I locked my doors because of the creepy neighbors.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

I swear to god, I start walking around the compound kind of flapping my arms going “think, think, think.”

I try the neighbors. Even the creepy neighbors. Not home.

But one of my friends left a door unlocked. I go in, because it’s not breaking and entering if it’s an emergency.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

I immediately realize this is 2018 and they don’t have a landline or a desktop computer.

I steal a Diet Coke from their fridge because now’s as good a time as any to fall off the wagon.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

I run back to the alley, drinking the Diet Coke and chanting think think think and I see there are even more cops.

I run back through the compound out the front.

And then I realize my only option is to go to the closet business and use their phone.

I run to mf Baskin Robbins.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

As I run, I pass the end of the alley from the other side. And I realize the cop cars are all centered around an SUV with a husky puppy in the back. And I think, hey that dog looks fam- OH MY FUCKING GOD.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

MY CREEPY NEIGHBORS ARE BEING ARRESTED IN SOME MAJOR STING OPERATION AND IT’S NOT EVEN MY MAIN PROBLEM BECAUSE SCHOOL IS ABOUT TO LET OUT AND I HAVE NO PHONE.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Well, that’s a plot twist.

I see them, my creepy neighbors, cuffed on the sidewalk. And I think, omg I should call my friends and tell th- NO ERIN, THINK, YOU HAVE NO PHONE, GO TO BASKIN-ROBBINS.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

So I run into Baskin-Robbins, and I was maybe a bit hysterical at this point because I kind of yelled HELLO YES CAN I USE YOUR PHONE TO CALL THE SCHOOL MY NEIGHBORS ARE BEING ARRESTED.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

The very nice employee asked me if I wanted to maybe sit down. And she handed me a phone. Like, a cordless phone. And I swear to god, I looked at it and thought BUT HOW DO I FIND THE PHONE NUMBERS.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

I looked at her and said “do you have a phone book” and she said “a what” and I just started laughing hysterically because there’s nothing like being reminded you’re getting old in the middle of a crisis at the Baskin Robbins.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Nothing’s quite like being reminded you’re an ancient being while in the middle of an emergency.

I finally calm down. She looks up the school’s number for me. I call to let them know I’ll be there as soon as I can. I call AAA. They tell me the locksmith will call when he arrives. I tell them okay, but this is Baskin Robbins so they won’t care.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

I go back to my house. My creepy neighbors are still being arrested. Animal Control has arrived for that sweet puppy. I go sit on my porch and finish my Diet Coke.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

The AAA guy shows up. I tell him to park in my driveway, the car’s out back. And he says “well how can I tow it if it’s in the back.” And I’m like “uh, you don’t, I just need you to unlock it.” And he’s like “I’m here to tow.” And I’m like “no you aren’t goddammit”

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

And then I realize. “Wait did the police call you?” And he said yeah, Glendale PD. And I was like omfg you’re here to impound my neighbor’s car, ugh, go to the alley and look for all the cops.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

I go back to the porch.

I wish I had another Diet Coke.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Apparently, no one’s having a great day.

My AAA guy finally shows up. He says “what’s with all the cops” and I’m like “yeah, weird day” and he’s like “no kidding, I got called to tow a car earlier and there were three bodies in it” and I was like “OKAY FINE YOU WIN.”

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

He opens my car. I grab my phone and call the school to make sure everything’s good. AAA guy leaves out the front. I’m finishing up on the phone and he comes running back because he left a tool in my car. We walk back to the alley, just as a dozen police officers come walking in.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

AAA guy looks at me and says, “actually, I think you win this one.”

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

One of the detectives says, “sorry, we’ll be out of your hair in a minute. Did you get your car unlocked?”

I’m like “…

….

…

yes”

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Another one of the detectives waves and I do a double-take because I have definitely seen this man several times over the past two weeks while walking the dogs and both of us have done the polite nod and smile.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

And that’s when it hits her:

And then it hits me. Two of the unmarked cars were parked in front of the house off and on for the past two weeks and I was so angry because that’s my spot and I couldn’t figure out who was taking it and it turns out WE’VE ALL BEEN UNDER POLICE SURVEILLANCE FOR TWO WEEKS.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

Like, these detectives were probably watching me lock my keys in the car and lose my shit and thinking “lol, classic Scafe” because they have been watching me for weeks.

— Scafe says wear a gd mask (@erinscafe) April 18, 2018

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986488179346649089

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986488672710111232

It turns out, there was a lot more to her creepy neighbors than she knew.

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986489321791242240

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986490079785828352

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986490417041440768

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986490696684134401

In a weird way, it was kind of like finding buried treasure when you actually don’t want to find buried treasure at all.

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986491303054594048

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986491981562966016

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986492361843748864

https://twitter.com/erinscafe/status/986493272544624640