Casual Dating Is Not The Problem, We Are

Casual dating is not a sin. Whatever your church or family or friends or society has told you, casual dating is not a bad thing.

I attend a small college where the minute you start dating someone, you are expected to marry them. This led to a friend asked me the other day: “Is it more shameful to meet someone at a bar or on Tinder?”

My response: “Neither are shameful – it’s not how you meet a guy but who he is that matters.”

You see, dating was never meant to be serious. Dating is supposed to be casual.

Dating is how we figure out what qualities we desire in our future husbands or wives.

Dating is how we figure out who we are in relationships and how we interact with our romantic interests. Dating shouldn’t have so much weight and expectations placed on it, for dating cannot hold them. Our boyfriends will never live up to our expectations for our husbands, because, well, they aren’t husbands.

Casual dating is not the problem. The problem comes when we stop viewing the dating casually and start viewing the people casually. When we look across the table and only see empty latte cups instead of the beautifully intricate souls drinking them.

When we buy each other drinks at bars, forgetting that we are each made up of the same matter as the stars. When we think feelings disappear as quickly as Tinder swipes. The problem comes when casual dating takes on a consumerism mentality. When instead of getting to know another person, we view dates purely as a way of discovering ourselves.

Casual dating is not a sin. It’s how we treat those we casually date that becomes a sin. The road to marriage may be paved with broken hearts, but in a world full of cruelty and despair, let’s try to minimize the damage. Let’s stop viewing people casually and start seeing them as exactly what they are: people.