Brook Johnston

Sit facing the door. That way you can give her a cute smile when she walks in.

He seemed a little squeamish!

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

I mean, our grocery store doesn’t even label their herbs. They just have a refrigerated bevy of little green plastic-wrapped baggies. Can’t tell the difference between fresh cilantro and fresh parsley? Too bad, you fucking troglodyte.

Let me guess – you’re looking for your dream girl. I don’t blame you. It’s an admirable pursuit.

Hey guys! Toronto here. Fourth largest city in North America. You would NOT believe what happened to us the other day!

We owned the castle, but he was the king.

6. I don’t get Kale.

My father owns a goddamn GoPro. But even still, they refuse to adopt a handful of modern technologies.

It’s darker than any Jodi Piccoult book I’ve read.

I only like sushi that contains zero fish.