Brook Johnston

…Because you’ve been through this.

The best defense is an ignorant offense.

Assholes!

1. First things first – I’m financially responsible.

Ladies, I know you’re scared. I know what it feels like to lose all hope, especially when it comes to love. But I’m here to tell you that everything will be okay. I’m here to tell you that your fantasies are just as attainable as ever.

The New York Times is a printed newspaper, which is a thing people used to buy. At the top of every issue is their official slogan: “All the news that’s fit to print.” Emphasis on that last part.

As a naive tourist from mild-mannered Canada, I just assumed it’d be more of a dancing-and-costumes kind of affair, punctuated by a grand finale where the matador gets too close for comfort before eventually letting him go.

I’m basically a keeper. 

The way to a woman’s heart is through your own liver, and nothing says boyfriend material like a refreshingly minty aperitif.

It pretty much went downhill from there. 

We called him the Beverley Bandit.

One thing’s for sure: I don’t want it anywhere that creates a bias towards certain seasonal wear.