Brian Donovan

I mean, there’s at least a 25% chance anyone you meet on OkCupid is going to be a psychopath to begin with.

So really, it’s not a film about mental illness, Silver Linings Playbook is a movie about people who want to get better. And who of us can not identify with that?

You and Evan at the beach! You and Evan at the movies! You and Evan taking ballroom dancing classes! (Which I also asked you to do when we were together, but whatever.)

He’s been walking like that ever since his owner went organic.

Why don’t we sing something we all know at 12 a.m. Like, say, “Can’t Touch This”? Or the theme song to the Golden Girls?

YOLO applies strictly to your candy cane intake.

Children need to build up a healthy immune system, and there is no faster way than to put your mouth on anything in the subway.

My relationship with both is intimate, and deeply personal. You may want to get the tissues handy…

That’s right, the pet of a woman who’s famous for having sex on camera died. In case you were wondering why the flags at your local Forever 21 were flying at half mast.

If you’re as panicked as I am about the delay, here are a few tips I’ve come up with to satisfy your Sherlock fix. They’re not as fun as a brilliantly solved caper, but for now I guess they’ll have to do.

To truly reach the pinnacle of insane pet celebration, you have to physically cook your cat or dog dinner.

I know it’s an obvious choice to have the hots for Giada, but I’m only human. Plus, who doesn’t want to have homemade Bruschetta after intercourse? Or during, for that matter?