20 ACTUALLY Legit Game Of Thrones Spoilers For Season 4
In case you haven’t read the books, but your friends still won’t tell you what happens.
By Brett Nolan
1. Queen Elsa of Arendelle created the White Walkers.
2. Urban Outfitters sells all of the vinyls by the Old Gods.
3. Stannis’ daughter becomes a spokeswoman for Proactiv.
4. Rickon proves to be even more useless than before.
5. Much like Stan Lee in Marvel movies, George R.R. Martin makes a cameo in several episodes.
6. Sean Bean returns to play Freddard Stark, Ned’s flamboyant twin brother.
7. Ser Jorah falls victim to Chris Hansen’s To Catch a Predator.
8. Hodor makes Bran carry him for once.
9. Sansa finds Margaery’s burn book, feels personally victimized as a result.
10. Brienne fights another bear, but this one is big, hairy and gay.
11. Daenerys crosses the Narrow Sea easily…because it’s fucking narrow.
12. Dick Cheney recruits Ramsay Snow to torture suspected terrorists.
13. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel replace the actors for The Mountain and The Hound, respectively.
14. In a crossover episode with Girls, Shoshanna like, totally studies abroad in Westeros.
15. The Iron Throne is actually made of lead.
16. The prostitutes of Baelish’s brothel start the Sisterhood Without Banners.
17. Ellen DeGeneres signs on to guest-star as Joffrey’s stunt double (She wins an Emmy for her work.)
18. Lord Frey has been disinvited to every wedding in Westeros, creates the Westeros Baptist Church in protest.
19. Tyrion, Daenerys, Jon Snow, and Arya form their own house, much to everyone’s delight.
20. Your favorite character dies. 
