Brandon Scott Gorrell

I am the co-publisher of Thought Catalog. Follow me on Twitter. I also use a pen name called Holden Desalles.

Five Ways To Be Incredibly Annoying in a Coffee Shop

Be vaguely acquainted with someone, see them, say “hi” to them, then sit somewhere in their line of sight with your laptop and stay there for as long as they stay there. Better yet, sit at the table opposite them, so whenever they look up from their laptop, they see your face.

How To Become Unsatisfied In a Long-Term Relationship

Feel resigned about the fact that sex sometimes doesn’t happen for weeks. Start to feel apathetic about lack of intimacy, orgasm and physical touch. Become overly silly. Hide the fact that you’re not addressing her problems with jokes, funny voices, inappropriately loud talking and tickling.

E-Tomb Preserves Your Social Networking Persona Forever

A tombstone for the internet-age, it stores all a dead person’s social presences – Facebook, Twitter, blogs, photos, videos, etc., in one easy to access space. A bluetooth-like device – the cross on the front of the tombstone – transmits and makes available this data. When the departed’s relatives visit the stone, they can interact with their now defunct internet presences via mobile.

Social Media Sobriety Test is Created

“Each night, millions of people are affected by drunk posting,” the narrator says, the screen showing a picture of a baby posted on Facebook with a comment underneath that says “Your baby has a big head!” In an effort to reduce such embarrassment associated with being drunk and making unseemly comments like these on Facebook, WebRoot has created a program that requires the user to take a sobriety test before they log on. Video inside.

Graphic Uses Facebook Status Updates to Show When People Are Most Likely to Break Up

Viral architect/ infographic designer David McCandless has created a graph from Facebook users’ status updates that shows us when we’re most likely to break up with our significant others. Of interest is Christmas Day, on which the lowest number of break-ups supposedly occur. Also notice the mini-spikes in break-ups on Mondays (shitty weekend?). Graphic inside.

Steak Ass Bitches, Milking Titties and Bleak Ass Hos

It honestly just seems that our language exists in a sort of private vacuum with little outside influence where variations on words and themes get ‘compounded’ via literally hundreds of hours of chatting and thousands of emails to produce what a ‘newcomer’ might see as offensive and absurd and very weird…

Thought Controlled Computing Seems Bleak

Thought controlled computing is an interface that allows an individual to affect his or her physical reality by the sole act of thinking. At the forefront of consumer-centric thought controlled computing is Ontario-based company InteraXon, who produced the video inside.

How to Optimize Your Twitter Brand

This is the message a high following to low followers ratio sends out: “I’m not special and exclusive enough for you to even be somewhat proud that I’ve followed you. I follow everyone! I even follow more people than follow me. My follow is basically worth nothing (unless you have a crush on me).”

I Went to a Press Screening of The Social Network

On the clipboard was a paper that asked for your name and the organization that you represented. At the top of the paper was a paragraph that said that by writing our names on this paper we agreed not to publish anything ‘review-like’ until the day The Social Network was officially released.