Brandon Scott Gorrell

Owner of the skate shoe brand Etnies, Pierre-André Senizergues, is kind of old by now, and he’s also kind of rich, so he’s going to use his money to build a house for himself in Malibu that’s fully-skateboardable, for the most part.

Sometimes you’ll be at a party or some situation created for the purpose of facilitating social interaction and friendship, minding your own business, really; maybe laughing with a friend or interfacing calmly with a coworker, sipping a fine whiskey, perhaps, when some thoughtless ruffian materializes out of the festive haze and demands: “Why are you so quiet?”

It seems okay to cry at home, beside your friend, after a long day that was primarily composed of a string of mini, soul-grating events, not events of a dramatic life-changing nature, but events like waking up with a hangover and finding that all your clothes hanging to dry are still wet, and so being forced to wear wet clothes to work, and at work finding that your co-worker’s called in sick…

Well – here it is. This is definitely one of the most extreme bloopers I’ve seen a news organization commit; also one of the most surprising because it must have passed by at least a few sets of eyes before going to the printing press.

During the final two days before election day, Shaq goes so far as to dedicate over 60 percent of his tweets to explicitly urging his followers to “pls use #ShaqmentDay hashtags in yalls tweets yall.” Later, analysts will refer to this as “troubling and [indicating that he was] possibly deranged.”

Why procrastination is such an innate behavioral tendency is beyond me, but I think we can agree that it gets the best of all of us. Here’s a list of highly effective ways you can procrastinate that big, intellectually hefty project you’ve already been avoiding for a nerve-racking amount of time.

Here is the insecure person’s sarcastic guide to interpersonal interaction. 100% of this guide is to be taken in jest, and 100% of it will help the insecure person completely alienate himself from those who actually think he’s a pretty cool dude.

In China scientists have achieved wonders by mating a zebra with a donkey. We’re currently unsure why this experiment was performed, but fuck it, the offspring – aptly named the “zonkey” or the “donkra” – is extremely cute.

Those who weren’t making out in the back of the family Buick between films at the drive-in will remember them: poorly-spliced, underexposed & overplayed grindhouse reels of sickly green hot dogs, unprovoked pizza-groping, ice cream sundaes with a vomit of pale, lifeless toppings, and perverse sight gags featuring animated snacks in PG-13 scenarios.

The Huffington Post recently ran a crowdsourced-type venture in which readers could create their own religion. The idea’s not bad – not bad at all; all religions have to start somewhere, right? Well, there’s already been a significant response, and I’m compelled to do the same, only here on Thought Catalog.

BREAKING: Just out from the researchers at Harvard University – people who celebrate the 4th of July with their parents are more likely to grow up with right-leaning political affiliations! That’s right – fireworks on Independence Day + children = the next George W. Bush!

Author and neuroscientist David Linden’s book on animals getting stoned in the wild by eating naturally occurring psychoactive substances on purpose, The Compass of Pleasure: How Our Brains Make Fatty Foods, Orgasm, Exercise, Marijuana, Generosity, Vodka, Learning, and Gambling Feel So Good was recently released by Viking Books.