Brandon Scott Gorrell

It’s cute to see people grin sheepishly and ‘admit’ to what’s on their headphones, while others’ matter-of-fact reactions give an insight into their lives – who they really are and how they’re, at that moment, perceiving the world around them.

“Here’s why I’m better than all your other candidates, make no mistake,” you write in your cover letter. “I’m highly relatable, am a great team player, and have a passion for sales and marketing. I’m the man for the job, sir.” This is where you actually have to leave the laptop, go to the kitchen sink and retch.

Co-founder of PayPal Peter Thiel will soon be giving out $100,000 fellowships to 24 recent recipients of his Thiel Fellowship. The catch? They drop of out school and work for two years with over 100 Silicon Valley veterans as mentors to “further develop their ideas in areas such as biotechnology, education, and energy,” according to the The Chronicle of Higher Education.

A woman named Felicia Rea McClure has been arrested after her boyfriend notified the police that he’d found a text message on her phone from a man interested in possibly purchasing McClure’s 13-year-old daughter’s virginity.

A reputation management firm called Reppler recently launched a study that found that about 47% of Facebook walls contain some form of profanity. And guess what – it isn’t even you that’s doing all the swearing, it’s your friends!

Can’t tell if XtendPlay – a company that sells ergonomic add-ons to console controllers who just so happened to plug their product in the above video – is trolling us bigtime here or if this is a real event that people enjoy because they enjoy being naked around other people while they all play video games.

Photographer Jon Gustafsson, who famously covered last year’s Eyjafjallajokull eruption – which stymied a good portion of Western European air traffic for days – recently recorded this amazing video of Iceland’s latest erupting pit of lava, Grímsvötn. Aside from the usual snark, I have no words. Video inside.

Toronto couple Kathy Witterick and David Stocker are raising their latest child, Storm, to be gender free. That is – they just aren’t telling anyone (family, neighbors, friends) what’s between Storm’s little legs.

Like a dictatorial state, the goal here is basically to censor any expression of less-than-ideal emotions such that it appears, from the outside, as if your partner simply isn’t allowed to voice attitudes that convey the relationship is anything other than ideal.

Watching the video of the confused man, one almost expects him to get attacked by the group of people around him at one point, but instead he just gets laughed at, and I think this is very sad. If anyone should be prosecuted, it’s Harold Camping, who thought this whole mess up, and who was nowhere to be found on the day the world was supposed to end.

Filled with muscular douchebags, old men with ponytails, large dudes wearing hockey jerseys, 45-year-old women with massive, unnatural-looking breast implants, single moms with faces obscured by a layer cake of make-up and way too much bad lipstick, ditzy white-girl cheeleaders turned vacuous suburbanite idiots, porn is produced by a class of people that, well, not too many of us choose to be around.

Terrible movies that are totally awesome are the kind you either won’t admit to liking, or proclaim you like because you’re trying to be ironic. Terrible movies that are totally awesome are movies with cheesy-ass special effects, sensational plots and an extreme disregard for reality. Terrible movies are terrible, but they’re also awesome.

Early yesterday morning, 21-year-old Brittanie Wagner struck her father with her vehicle, who was walking along the side of the road. Driving without glasses, Wagner initially assumed that she had struck an “an animal or a garbage can,” according to The Smoking Gun. Only when police pulled her over soon after did she realize the victim was her father.

I’ve often had a sort of silent, pre-language sense of conflict with the skinny jeans part of this outfit, as I’m not sure if they disqualify me from being categorized as professional, but I often mitigate this conflict by imagining that skinny jeans have been around for a long time now, so long that it seems everyone is wearing them, and so perhaps my professionalism is simply enhanced by them because they indicate not only “professional” but “savvy.”

Many locals are outraged after learning that Michigan man Leroy Fick continues to collect food stamps after winning a $2 million lottery prize, a prize that afforded him an $850,000 lump payment from the state. Fick and his attorney say the public’s anger is misdirected; Fick’s use of food stamps remains within the legal confines of Michigan’s food benefits program.

In sum, all this hyper-awareness, overanalysis and incessant judgment basically leads to a big, revolving ball of metaphysical shit that really can dampen the mood at the dinner table.

In a tongue-in-cheek homage to parenting and the sometimes not-so-simple act of just getting a child to sleep, Go The F**k to Sleep, a 32-page illustrated book by Adam Mansbach, has topped Amazon’s bestseller chart a month before publication. It currently holds a ranking above memoirs by Tina Fey and Steven Tyler.

Aside from your regular commuters, tourists, and psychopathic naked racists, a new breed of NYC subway riders has been discovered – the aggressive, quite-possibly deranged shoe licking man. So if you’re interested in observing this new species of dude in the wild, just hop on the sole train.