Brandon Scott Gorrell

CHOOSE A ROOMMATE WITH A CAR SO SHE CAN HELP YOU MOVE FURNITURE, GROCERIES, CONTRABAND.

What would Facebook have looked like on Windows 3.0, via Netscape and dial-up? Here it is! This video by “Squirrel Monkey” proposes what Facebook would have been like in the 90s, complete with commentary from someone who sounds like a southern housewife off the set of Gone With The Wind.

Players earn additional points based on form and demeanor; judges scrutinize the level at which the player is ‘actually’ unreasonably ‘afraid’ of checking her cell phone and email account and Sudden Death rounds require a heart rate monitor to determine the extent to which electronic communication produces anxiety.

Betrayal. (March) Madness, Corned beef and cabbage, Olive Garden/ Adorable reviews of the Olive Garden, Humidifiers, Surprise birthday parties.

The person you need to stop leading on already because there IS NO WAY IT’S GOING TO WORK OUT, YOU KNOW THAT, STOP IT

From her SUV, with her husband sitting beside her, viewed, on the corner, a man in an orange REI jacket wearing a large hiking backpack standing stationary on the sidewalk. As they passed him, both the woman and her husband saw that he was very agitated and talking very quickly, to no one. “He’s malfunctioning,” she said to her husband.

Jan Berenstain, co-creator of the Berenstain Bears children’s book series, died last Friday of a stroke. Just two days earlier she had been working on two new books with her son, Michael Berenstain, who has been her co-author recently.

There’s something innately uncomfortable about imagining the inside of your own body. This discomfort is probably connected to a general evolutionary rule that says that seeing the inside of yourself probably means you’re seriously injured or dying, which is a pretty logical maxim, and a legitimate cause for panic. I think we’re also inherently intrigued by accounts of people who’ve mutilated themselves in an attempt to escape a desperate situation — self-surgery.

Her yellow sun dress is eliciting instinctual feelings of affection and protectiveness. The tree just outside the converted water tower catches small pockets of wind and reacts meaningfully. Identify a kind of singularity; something about the trees, the wind, you, her.

Sometimes, when in situations like these, you find yourself in a conversation where the rules are that you have to keep making up these clever little witticisms to stay in the conversation. It is like a verbal game of ping pong.

But I just now found this out and so was immediately compelled to share with likeminded Gosling lovers who may not be aware of this exciting situation, which is that Ryan Gosling has a band. Ryan Gosling singing, in a band. Ryan Gosling… in a band.

Start crossing the street to the side of the road you’re walking parallel to, see a group of people laughing gregariously on that side of the road, quietly return to the side from which you came and wait to cross the street until you’ve walked well out of sight of the loud, gesticulating, scary people.