Don't Celebrate 4th Of July With Your Kids: Study Finds They're More Likely To Turn Republican If You Do!

BREAKING: Just out from the researchers at Harvard University – people who celebrate the 4th of July with their parents are more likely to grow up with right-leaning political affiliations! That’s right – fireworks on Independence Day + children = the next George W. Bush! Fuck. Huffington Post has more on this questionable study:

Harvard researchers David Yanagizawa-Drott and Andreas Madestam suggest that the correlation is a function of the way conservatives have linked their values to expressive displays of patriotism.

“The political right has been more successful in appropriating American patriotism and its symbols during the 20th century. Survey evidence also confirms that Republicans consider themselves more patriotic than Democrats. According to this interpretation, there is a political congruence between the patriotism promoted on Fourth of July and the values associated with the Republican party. Fourth of July celebrations in Republican dominated counties may thus be more politically biased events that socialize children into Republicans,” they write.

While researchers did indeed find a correlation between people under the age of 18 enjoying 4th of July’s barbeque, the correlation seems pretty freaking small, if negligible. Children participating in one rain-free 4th of July celebration before their 18th birthday increases their chance of identifying as a Republican by 2% and of voting for a Republican candidate by the time they’re 40 by 4%. The study found that there was no correlation between becoming a Democrat as an adult and attending Independence Day celebrations as a child.