Blake Butler

For all the times I did this I only bought one of the calendars once. I was shaking so hard. I thought the salesperson was going to eat me. I locked the calendar in a metal box and hid it in my closet with all the other precious secret crap. In the night I’d bring it out and stare and see it.

Since the last film in the series, Ethan Hawke has suffered a seven year abduction, during which he was amputated of all four major limbs and tongue.

It feels like my head over the past few years has been filling up with the white light from computer screens.

I work out almost every day at a small gym shared by homeowners at a loft complex where I live in downtown Atlanta. At any given time there are anywhere between zero and seven people in there using the free weights or the cardio equipment.

Where I saved last night I find myself standing on a platform and the wind is blowing all muffled sometimes as if onto a microphone and there is music like you are about to go on a horse ride to somewhere you’ve never been with someone you sort of like.

Despite his “zany” style of comedy and physical expression, I imagine Martin Short for the most part enjoys clean, straightforward sex.

Seems like you wouldn’t be allowed to work at L.L. Bean without passing a Wes Anderson test.

Is the high-pitched head-voice the only voice Thom Yorke remembers how to use ever now when saying actual words besides the ooh-ooh? I feel like if this song were written in the 1400s they would have strung the dude on the rack to see if he sounded like that then, too.

Walk into a room shaped exactly the size as I am.

This position of this guy’s hips is definitely art. I don’t know which Macy’s he got that belt from but I love the way the light coming off it matches the color of the rain that’s coming down on the flower field while he pretends to play the violin.

Rewound the scene after coming back from the bathroom because I heard the main girl on the show make an awkward date rape joke and wanted to see if it was actually funny but it seemed like a joke I’d heard before

The higher the digits went, the more I shrunk, compacting in my seat in my silent room to grow faster, higher, larger, made of money I rarely transferred into palpable bank notes. I liked seeing the number of my bankroll climb. A withdraw seemed a loss.

“We like twitter as a place to relax and goof around!” isn’t really a rallying cry I can get behind. It feels like used cars with fast food wrappers all inside them, and in light of that I actually agree with Franzen and wish Twitter did not exist, though I think he misses entirely what I find as the point. I don’t want to watch you talk to friends or know where you are going for dinner.

Seems like these guys might have never eaten food in their life. Felt my arm trying to move over to the mouse just now to click next track before I even thought to do that. So much “I’m going to the beach and never coming back” in all these white kids making up songs now.

I am kind of itchy and just rode the stationary bike for 700 calories and am drinking a grapefruit flavored La Croix. I am going to press play on the movie now.

He would get angry when she didn’t want to walk beside him. His head was small and buzzed of hair and he looked red. I don’t think he ever smiled where I could see him. He would not look at me. He seemed to want to explode.

I wonder if this Liz singer lady has ever been into a WalMart. Seems like she would have had to by now but I can’t see her even parking in the parking lot. Seems like she doesn’t have a body below the head…

The shift in colors made rooms feel different, shaded, and the acts inside them, then, seemed slightly off; inconsistencies in my experience of the inconsistencies, equally disorienting and compelling.