Love Should Not Hurt You More Than It Heals You

Love should not hurt you more than it heals you.

Love should not confuse you. It should not make you feel like you are not good enough, it should not make you feel like you have to change in order to be worthy of it. Love should not exist within games, within frustration. Love is not a power struggle, it is not something you should have to catch or chase or hunt within the world. Love is confidence. Love is ruthless assurance — the kind you feel deep down in your bones. Love is knowing that someone cares for you, it is the knowledge that you are appreciated and valued and chosen every single day. Love is security.

Love should not condemn you. When you are with someone, and your heartbeat wakes you up in the middle of the night, when your feelings bang against your chest and you cannot help but pour yourself out into their arms, love should not quiet you. Love should not vilify you for feeling deeply, for loving hard, for being the kind of person who only knows how to be soft, who only knows how to burn. Love should protect you, it should stand up for you, it should encourage the tenderness, the depth, the fire. Love should be a safe place.

Love should not walk away from you. It should not flee when things get hard. It should not run, should not abandon you when the difficulties of life hang heavy in the air. Love is stronger than anything you will ever know — it has the capacity to endure, it has the foundation to overcome. Love does not give up. Love does not take the easy way out. Love fights. Love always fights.

Love should not break you. My god, if there is anything you should know about love, it is that is should never destroy you, it should never tear you to pieces only to leave you alone. It should not make you ache, it should not bruise your soul. Love should never bear its teeth when things get tough, it should not use your vulnerabilities against you when it feels threatened, or hurt.

No, love should not break you — love should build you. It should encourage you, it should inspire you to be exactly who you have always wanted to be. Love should be a resounding anchor of peace in your life, it should take care of you. Love should challenge you, it should teach you. It should stand by your side while you figure yourself out, it should hold your hand while you grow. Love should always leave you better than it found you.

Love should always be soft.
Please, don’t ever forget that.