Ben Branstetter
6 Liberals This Liberal Can’t Stand
Liberals have a special tendency to believe their beliefs make them far more enlightened and fail to cover that up in their personalities. Here is a shortlist of the worst offenders.
Cory Booker And The Politics Of Doing Things
While his legendary accomplishments (let’s mention that he’s also a Rhodes scholar) may give him a squeaky-clean, Mayberry-esque image, he is also a crude and intelligent politician.
6 Directors To Helm Star Wars Episode 7
So in the spirit of drastic speculation and/or wish fulfillment, here are several directors who could regenerate the series in their own image.
New York City Is Important Because We Say It Is
New York breeds suffering and suffering breeds creativity.
If Famous Authors Were SNL’s Weekend Update City Correspondents
For the latest getaways for lovers, here’s Weekend Update’s City Correspondent, Chuck Klosterman!
Growing Up In Las Vegas
Las Vegas is one of the most frequently changing cities in the world. One year it will be Disneyland, the next it will be Mad Max territory.
The Only Thing I’m Confident I Have Is Hypochondria
It’s an insanity, one that no amount of rational calming from friends or loved ones seems to heal. I can guzzle cranberry juice and take a Daily Men’s vitamin and have the nurse triage on speed dial, but nothing calms it.
The Funerals I’ve Survived
Most people aren’t witty and they tend to be far uglier than we expect.
How To Be Atheist Without Being Arrogant
You can memorize as many quotes from Bertrand Russell and Benjamin Franklin as you like, but few will put the argument to rest as quickly as “I don’t know.”
It’s Worth Remembering That Steve Jobs Was A Jerk
Apple’s lengthy history of near-plagiarism (let’s include the Apple-Braun comparisons currently making their way through the tubes) would not be so bad if they were not consistently and fervently fighting the same nature of innovation Jobs helped to birth.
What A Roommate From Hell Taught Me About Hate
Within one week of him moving in, he had thrown four parties in our apartment. And by “party”, I mean “he and three male friends rolled a blunt, drank Natty Light, and played either beer pong or Mike Tyson interview highlights while calling every female high school senior in the area to which they hadn’t already given gonorrhea.”
I Fell In Love At A Salvation Army
I had no interest in being away from you ever.