Ben Branstetter

Eric Finzi, a dermatologist with a new book studying the physiology of facial expressions, has been doing the media rounds actively advocating for the use of Botox to make people smile in order to fight depression.

The very nature of being a famous artist can often push otherwise stable people into dark corners, be it drug abuse, spousal abuse, or suicide.

Welcome back, people who either hate or love this show with a fervent passion!

Watching cable news attempt to predict the next pope was almost harmful to ones’ dreams of what our culture should be.

Each year I reread The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy and find new jokes, new revelations, and a refreshed understanding of Life, The Universe, and Everything.

She talks like an actual person. She stays in close contact with her roots. She seems to drink constantly but holds it together (except for that infamous tumble at the Oscars).

“Why would you put onions on a burger when I specifically said not to?! I thought you said I could have it my way?!”

There exists only so many ways to enjoy a cat without it actually being in your presence, and after a while the only proper response is to get a cat.

If art and politics require modesty, physical accomplishment requires the knowledge you will do anything to achieve your goal.

Deputies arrived on the scene and tried to detain Bruni, who started flailing around on the ground and speaking but not making sense. Deputies said Bruni sucked up the water that had spilled from the vacuum and spit it out.

So, first, I just want to thank the Senate Foreign Relations Committee for this opportunity to, y’know, clear the air on this whole Benghazi thing…

Now that children born when the N64 came out are getting their driver’s licenses, it may come as no shock that Atari, the venerable creator of Pong and the Atari 2600, has filed for bankruptcy.

If you haven’t watched Community, I have two words: help us.

What astounded me was at no point did anyone question who I was or why I was there. The producers didn’t even ask for credentials.

These kids are very loud, very plasticine, and somewhat hillbilly.

The sole reason #cut4bieber is still trending is people using the hashtag to decry its purpose.

When Myspace first became popular, I put forth a Caulfieldian theory of how people behave online: People put forth the person they want  to be, not who they are.

Jack saves Rose by shooting Billy Zane with a blunderbuss then riding the Loch Ness Monster to the Statue of Liberty, where he defeats King Kong, hollows out his skeleton, and uses it as a house to raise his son, Dagger.