Ben Branstetter
Articles by
Ben Branstetter
Why Tinder And OKCupid Want To Keep You Single
A committed relationship is the least-profitable thing to come out of a dating site.
What Ellen’s Oscar Selfie Tells Us About Fame
We take selfies mostly because no one else cares to snap a photo of us at our proudest moments, whether it’s at the gym or the Grand Canyon. Celebrities don’t have this problem.
7 Youtube Channels That Teach You How To Do Everything
Learn how to debate like a human being!
Why Is Most Christmas Music So Sad?
While “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” is usually just a step below “Jingle Bells” in a list of saccharine, overly-jolly holiday music, the version you probably know has been heavily altered from the original.
The Waiting Room
I wished you well, reminded you of the love I’ve felt for years now towards your quaint face, your serene beauty in the face of immense terror, the awesome horror felt by millions as they lie in a gurney, wired to machines of which they knew the purpose but not the workings.
Facebook Is Boring Because We’re Boring
We go on Facebook to see who loves our digital persona and lightly enjoy a superior giggle at the egotistical underlings we call our friends with a capital F.
6 Worst Things About Having Friends
3.You have to care about them.
21 Ways To Avoid People (Or Make Them Avoid You)
5. Read. No one likes a reader.
Quitting Smoking (Or Why I Now Dream Of Murder)
I find out how much I was relying on a stimulant to make life possible, screaming at inanimate objects and having violent daydreams about the woman in front of me digging out exact change.
I Went To The Hershey School Don Draper Had A Breakdown Over
What Don Draper realizes at the end of season six is what thousands of Milts have realized before him: your choices are yours and yours alone.
8 Reasons You Should Get To Know Reggie Watts
He’s friends with a lot of cool people, like Michael Cera.
5 Reasons To GTFO Of Pennsylvania
1. Nothing happens here.