Becky Curl

It’s midnight again, and you are the only thing on my mind.

This isn’t fair to either of us anymore. 

I have absolutely no idea what I am doing with my life.

I don’t know why I ever thought I had to be “over it.” 

You are more than just a person with happy memories to reminisce about. You are a complex creature composed of both beauty and pain who deserves to take the time they need to process the things they have been through.

I wish I could tell you how the day you walked into my life was one of the best days I have ever had.

I miss the days when I used to be able to hang out with my friends without feeling guilty for doing so. I miss understanding the importance of a work-life balance and knowing when a break was not just important, but vital. Most of all, I miss my friends.

There are moments to be cautious, but then there are also those critical moments where we are faced with the choice to finally step outside of our comfort zone.

We were happy. You brought me white carnations and kisses on the cheek. We were so innocent and sweet.

It’s two years later, and I am still trying to make sense of it all. 

I could write you a card and wish you well. I could tell you a generic “Happy Holidays” and simply sign my name, all the while hoping I’m not making the same mistake again.

I wish that I could take it all back.