Making Sense Of Love And Time

Sometimes the time we are given with the people we love is less than what we had hoped for.

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man and woman climbing white wild carrot flower fields
Photo by rayul on Unsplash

It seems cruel sometimes, the way that the universe puts two people together, only to then tear them apart. Though I believe that hidden in every heartbreak, there is some lesson about love and life that we need to learn, I cannot pretend that it makes those heartbreaks any less devastating. To know that you were in the perfect place at the perfect time to meet such a perfect person is incredible. To then have to watch them walk away is soul-crushing. Sometimes, the love is there, but the universe is pulling you in opposite directions. Love is not always enough to keep two people together. What I have learned is that sometimes love is exactly the reason why you decide to be apart.

When you know that you cannot give someone everything that they need, no matter how much you love them, you have to let them go. You have to respect their choices and know that in letting them go, you are still loving them. You love them so much that you would never want to hurt them or put them into a situation they do not want to be in. You love them so much that you recognize that a life with you is not the life that is best for them.

Sometimes the time we are given with the people we love is less than what we had hoped for. Maybe you didn’t realize what you had until it was gone, or you woke up every day begging the universe to give you just a little bit more time. Time is not always something we will have control over. Yes, we can plan out our days and how we use our time, but we cannot control the way someone else manages theirs. We cannot control someone else’s life decisions; we can only do our best to be present with them in the time that we are granted and hope that one day we might be given a little more. And even if we are never given that extra time, we can choose to cherish the time that we do have.

I have found that I often spend so much time inside my own head that I forget to live in the moment I have now. I forget to be present with the people I already have, even though I know that I will not have them forever. I am so afraid of losing the people around me that I often let that fear drive me away from them. I have loved so deeply in my life and suffered great losses as well. Though I will never stop wishing that I could have had more time with those I have lost, I am doing my best to make the most out of the time that I do have now. Spending one hour with someone you love is more valuable than spending years with someone who does not set your heart on fire.

Just because someone is willing to give you their time doesn’t make them right for you. You could spend forever with someone and never be in love with them. Time isn’t always synonymous with greater love. Time is only a measurement, not the deciding factor in how much you’re allowed to love someone.