Becky Curl

Living with an eating disorder has complicated almost every aspect of my life.

The way you looked at me was unlike anything I had ever experienced before.

Sometimes the time we are given with the people we love is less than what we had hoped for.

I know it’s hard when everything around you is falling apart, but one day everything will be whole again. Life might not go back together the way it used to be or the way you had hoped it would, but sometimes the things we always thought were right for us couldn’t be more wrong.

Someone who only shows up when they feel like it is not someone you need in your life. 

Sometimes the ones we love never come back. Sometimes the love was never even there to begin with.

Some of the best advice I have ever received was that just because you choose to go one way for a little while doesn’t mean you can never pursue anything else. A path is just a stepping stone, not your final destination. 

This is why we cannot run from the horrible things that have happened to us and expect them to just disappear.

I did everything I could do to erase you from me the way that you erased me from you so easily.

The days since you left me will turn into months, and those months into years. I will have destroyed every tangible memory between us, and I will finally learn to live a life without you in it.

What seems like a normal trip to the grocery store or just a walk around the block to you can bring up debilitating anxiety, panic, PTSD, and trauma responses for us.

No one has the right to tell you that your feelings are illegitimate because you weren’t in the type of relationship our society deems as “the right one.”

It’s midnight again, and you are the only thing on my mind.

This isn’t fair to either of us anymore. 

I have absolutely no idea what I am doing with my life.

I don’t know why I ever thought I had to be “over it.” 

You are more than just a person with happy memories to reminisce about. You are a complex creature composed of both beauty and pain who deserves to take the time they need to process the things they have been through.

I wish I could tell you how the day you walked into my life was one of the best days I have ever had.