For The Friends Who No Longer Are

Hello, it’s been a long while. I don’t really know what you’re up to these days, but I hope you are finding fulfillment and joy in your comings and goings. I hope that each morning greets you with peace, and each evening with gratitude.

I stumbled across a memory the other day that made me smile, and thought of you fondly. We laughed at a great many things back then. I want you to know that I remember you with joy in my heart. You were so dear to me then, and I hope that you find yourself now saying the same thing of those you surround yourself with.

You should know that there are times my heart aches with the memory of you. I hold on to a piece of you, and I carry it everywhere I go. You have never left me, though your presence in my life has long since faded.

I want to thank you for the love you shared – directly and indirectly. I value the reminder of your physical love as well as the recollection of the spaces you made me feel safe in.

And before you think me too serious, I laugh often when I think of the crazy adventures we had in our time together.

Culture has and will continue to tell us that only the great, crazy adventures can be glorified, but I’m here to tell you that those random, impulsive, often late night decisions are just as glorifiable and will live on in infamy, if only in my memory.

I want to remind you that you matter, because sometimes I remember the little things you did and they give me hope. The times you took to notice something, to acknowledge and validate and listen and simply be – those times matter as much as the grand sweeping gestures.

And for all the times I made you angry, for the hurtful words traded and wrong words exchanged, I am sorry.

I am sorry for not extending grace soon enough, for letting my pride get in the way of forgiveness, for allowing temporary problems to define my momentary disposition.

I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Whether we parted in peace or in pain, I hope you can recognize the difference you made.

You have made me a better person. You challenged me and encouraged me and shaped my life in a way that I am here now.

I have loved you for the person you were, and I hope you love the person you are.

My wish is that this letter finds you well, that you are in good health, and of sound mind and heart. That you are pursuing the people and the things that lend meaning to your life. That you are being challenged. And that you are growing.

I am here, remembering you, with love in my heart, and a smile on my face. Thank you, for being the person that you were.

Remember that wherever you go, there you will be… and the places you have been, there you were.