25 Lessons To Take Away From Kali Rogers’ New Book: Conquering Your Quarter-Life Crisis
It can be hard enough to convince ourselves we're enough – the last thing we need is to convince our partner we're enough.
By Becca Martin
Kali Rogers, founder of Blush, is the life coach you always wanted but never knew you needed. Her new book, Conquering Your Quarter-Life Crisis, is here – and it’s so relatable that you won’t be able to put it down. Kali will break down your quarter-life crisis in a way that will make it feel like every word was written specifically for you.
1. Your quarter-life crisis can hit you anywhere from 18-30 and it doesn’t mean you’re a failure or pathetic. It happens to the best of us and you will get through it.
2. Your timeline won’t look like anyone else’s and that’s totally fine, and normal. Time isn’t against you.
3. You have too much going on in your own life to be catering to everyone else’s needs right now. It’s time to stop letting the word “yes” ruin your life and start saying “no.”
4. You are going to be under relationship scrutiny by everyone in your life until the day you decide to stop caring about other people’s opinions of your life.
5. The only thing you should do is give yourself permission to fail. Instead of thinking about all you should have, give yourself the permission to try and fail, then permission to try again.
6. You spend majority of your time at work, therefore you CAN’T hate it. You have to have a job that you can at least tolerate.
7. Don’t talk yourself out of applying for a job because you think you’re unqualified! Do it anyways because you never know and it’s not your decision to make. Cast your career net as wide as possible.
8. You don’t have to work in the exact field you studied in college. Things change, paths wind, interests develop and the most important thing is to just give things a chance. Pursue whatever career you want, as long as you’re pumped about it.
9. In order to get what you want you have to ask for it. Simple. People are not mind readers.
10. Many of our friendships serve a temporary purpose in our lives. You will outgrow people and people will outgrow you, it’s all part of the process.
11. Success breeds success and the people you keep around you have a lot to do with your level of success. It’s hard to become successful if you keep people around you who only want to party when you’re working on building a successful company.
12. You need to keep friends around you that support you when you’re in the trenches, who have your back when things are tough. Not friends who shine more light on their own issues instead of trying to help you through yours.
13. Friends do not size each other up, there is no race to the finish line and no competition to who can become ‘successful’ first because friendship is about both of you.
14. The right or wrong relationship can influence everything in either a positive or negative manner.
15. You can’t allow your partners reality to become your own. You can’t allow their bad day to become your bad day. You have to help them out instead of also becoming stuck in a rut.
16. Healthy relationships treat their partner like a bonus, not a necessity. Don’t completely rely on them – it’s not healthy.
17. It can be hard enough to convince ourselves we’re enough – the last thing we need is to convince our partner we’re enough.
18. Your relationship status is in your power. You have the control.
19. You have to disappoint some people in order to go after what you want but you’ll both live through it.
20. People-pleasing is a toxic habit. You are already hard enough on yourself, the last thing you need is to try even harder to please other people for the outcome of your life. Trim the fat and cut those people out of your life.
21. Never compare the beginning of your journey to the middle of someone else’s. Everyone is different, their journeys are different and their goals are different. Just because you started a little later doesn’t put you behind and it also doesn’t help to compare you are now to where someone was a couple of years ago when they were starting out.
22. Your life isn’t going to fall apart if you don’t do everything perfectly.
23. Do not take on other people’s guilt. It is NOT your responsibility to heal people, you are only making your own life harder by doing this.
24. Let go of what you can’t control!!! And don’t let those things make you feel guilty. Instead focus on what you can control.
25. Celebrate yourself often. You beat yourself up when you fall a little short but don’t forget to celebrate you success as well as other’s success. Reward yourself for a job well done and show yourself the gratitude you show others because you deserve it too.