A Reverent Apology To My Body
I have spent three days
Apologizing with reverent love
Compassion moisturizing my skin
Understanding massaging my organs
Hope and promises
Sustaining networks of fascia
Honoring
Honoring
All for love
Clarity gently invites
Harmony
And joy
As my heart beats
Without force or plea
As it beat for years despite me
I would pray on my knees
Soaked in my tears
Please give up on me
Let me go
I need my last breath
Tired and worn
But valiant
Determined
My heartbeat kept me
Company
In my loneliest hours
Yet how have I ever felt alone
When all my cells rejoice
At my gentle touch
The cooing of my voice
For three days I lay
Yearning for breath
Memories of him over me
The door of death
My heartbeat carried on
Despite the gasps
My heartbeat carries on
With such little oxygen
Bold as lightning
I was jolted awake
For three days I cling
With sorrow and grace
I am sorry
The village within that raised me
Whispering sweet love
Renewed sovereignty
I will cherish you, skin, sinew, and bone
I will serve you, liver, kidney, and gallbladder
I will praise you, intestines, stomach, and ovaries
I adore you, heart, brain, and lungs
You are the beat to which I dance through life
You are the natural rise and fall of magic
You are the protector with graceful power
All my life
I was never alone
In my body I am home
Through the darkest of days
My organs kept doing the service of love
Automatically
Faithfully
For all the times I have scorned you in the mirror
I am sorry
For all the times I begged for death
I am sorry
For all the times I blamed you
And thought you did your job wrong
I am sorry
For the times I displaced you
Beat you with words and punished you without food
I am sorry
Face to earth
My heart
My hearth
I have always had the safest place to be
Wrapped in your cocoon and reverie
I pledge allegiance to your cause
To your dream
Your goal
Your hope
Your success
I pledge allegiance to my life
Whatever you need I will commune with you
And learn your ways
Whatever you desire
I will laugh with you
And I will dine with you in pleasure
I am baptized in my holy breath
Serenaded by the drum of my heart
It took so long to see you for what you are
My body
My refuge
My adventure
My art
My dearest companion
True kindred spirit
All these years you’ve survived and danced your way through
Every horror and triumph
You only worked harder, kinder, deeper
Even through my betrayals
Thank you
I revere you
I am in awe of you
It is an honor to live within this skin
Sweet sacred friend.
I hold you tenderly and notice all that you are
