This One’s For The Girls Who Can’t Stop Loving Scumbags

Everyone has a type, right? Some go for the good guys. Some go for the guys who are manly men. And some, like me, go for the ones with ALL the problems. Most days I think I somehow have the phrase “Scumbags Welcome” tattooed on my forehead. It sounds dramatic, I know, but believe me, it’s true. And also quite sad.

I can’t change it though. Whenever I think I’ve found one that has his shit together, I’m instantly proven wrong. Where are the warning signs? Why don’t they wear special signs so that I know to avoid them? I’m not looking for Prince Charming by any means, but it would be nice to be able to give someone my heart and my vagina and neither of them end up broken.

My personality has A LOT to do with it. I’m wild, loud, completely outspoken, and sometimes just a plain asshole. Because of my over eccentric attitude, I attract the types that either want to tame me or change me. I am who I am. What you see is what you get with me and I make no apologies for it. So, then I’m left wondering if I should find someone just like me. You know, the man version of me. There’s one of all of us.

WARNING: DO NOT DO THIS!

This is a terrible idea. There is going to be toxicity there from the jump. You get along pretty well. You both have A LOT in common. You both get each other’s moodiness and vulgar behavior. It seems pretty cool. Until it just doesn’t anymore. Your friends will warn you, but you’ll ignore it all. Everyone will tell you that you’re WAY TOO good for him and that he’s just as terrible as the rest. You’re pretty sure you’ve met your match, but much like the rest you’re used to attracting, he turns out to be a scumbag too. He’s not a scumbag like the rest though, he’s a special kind of scumbag.

You’ve been using guys for months. You have been discarding them left and right and not taking a second to think about if they even have feelings for you. SHAME ON YOU. And right now is when that will hit you. You’ll develop feelings for your twink and lay how you feel out on the table.

AND HERE COMES KARMA…

You’ll be left crushed. You’ll then remember why you are the way you’ve always been. You’ll remember why you keep them at a distance and why you never develop feelings. You’ll remember why you don’t have sex in your own bed and why you go ghost once it seems like they’re getting attached. You’ll keep yourself so far away so that this feeling never creeps up again. You’ll never experience the pain of the things he said to you that made you feel like you were just some rando bitch. You’ll now know what it’s like to feel used.

Stay away from the scumbags. As a matter of fact, stay away from them all. Focus on YOU. You don’t deserve to be treated the way that you’re allowing yourself to be treated. You deserve someone who’s day begins and ends with you. Someone who thinks the sun shines out of your ass. Someone who understands you and wants you to remain exactly the same.

Say goodbye to the scumbags, pretty girl.