The Time You Spent Loving Them Wasn’t A Waste

Here you are, sitting in your bedroom with a broken heart. You deleted their phone number and their text messages containing sweet good mornings, pictures that warranted an exchange of heart-eye emojis (and maybe some peach/eggplant ones too), and descriptions of each other’s day. You’ve scrubbed the Instagram pictures with happy, loving captions from your profile. You go over the comments on social media cooing over how happy and adorable you two looked. Your future with this person seemed as bright as the Clarendon filter on Instagram. I know what you’re thinking—that relationship was a waste of time.

None of your romantic relationships are a complete waste of time.

The pangs of fondness you felt as you watched them laugh at Bojack Horseman, the memories of dancing as the two of you cooked together, and the shared inside jokes didn’t make the relationship a waste of time.

The dinner dates and nights spent belting out NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys together when he drove you home, the way you felt comfortable enough to show that you can’t twerk or sing or do anything remotely rhythmic to save your life renders the point of the relationship being a waste of time moot.

The intimacy you shared, physical and otherwise, were points of happiness, growth and ecstasy. They were eye-opening moments that made everything worth it.

The concert nights attended, the mini-vacations taken, and the zenith of happiness you reached when you were in their arms made the relationship worth it.

The feeling of someone loving you for who you are, the values you embody and hold dear, the beauty you possess, and reciprocating that love made the relationship worth it.

The exchanging of playlists, family life stories, and secrets—being able to open up to someone about facets of your life you’ve long had issues with articulating to others—made the relationship worth it.

The friends that you met through them and those that continued to be a part of your circle long after the relationship ended made meeting this person worth it.

Seeing that you’re able to love someone beyond measure after a string of bad relationships makes the relationship worth it.

The lessons you learn if the relationship was toxic, unilateral, and otherwise unfulfilling makes this relationship worth it, serving as a reminder of what to avoid in the future.

Yes, love needs vulnerability, trust, and openness to sustain itself, leading to breakups, hurt, and feeling like precious time was wasted if these aspects are not present.

But our time is limited, as we only get one life.

Therefore our time to feel love and adoration and to give it someone else is limited.

Remember to see things for what they were and what they are in its totality and full timeline.

Remember to love those who love you in the way you ask for and deserve.

Remember that spending time with people isn’t a waste; it’s a necessary part of life, growth, and being human.