Ashlee Valentin

Love is that one mystery in life that I need, that interests me

I imagine this is what it is to have a soulmate and I wish to spend the rest of my life seeing you smile.

It was easy to love you and it was easy to let you in, but you were hard to let go of and to forget about.

It was subtle. It happened slowly like an hourglass slowly drops sand and it hurt in the softest of ways.

It hurt to think that, maybe, if I would’ve met you first, then that could’ve possibly been me calling you baby instead of her.

Thank you for loving me endlessly and feverishly and, most of all, thank you for putting up with my shit and promising to do so for the rest of your life. 

I used to love you with all my heart, so much that it was overwhelming and now I can’t look at you without missing the person you used to be and it’s saddening. 

You never ceased to amaze me. It was constant.

I never felt more unimportant. 

I’m sitting here and all the memories of us are tainted and ruined because I know what I was thinking in those moments.

I regret you because I loved you so much and now I can’t remember why I did.

I was nothing more than the product of your need to self destruct.