No, I’m Not Over You And I’m Not Ashamed

There was a time when things weren’t so complicated. When you and I were simple yet exciting, and at our peak, I was the happiest I had ever been. We weren’t perfect. We fought and argued sometimes, but the hug and kiss after made me forget the little things we fought about to begin with. The only thing I regret now is not trying harder to keep you in my life.

I still replay memories of us laughing and wrestling playfully. I think of all the times we silently sat there enjoying each other’s company. I even remember the fights and the passion fueling those arguments. I loved you through it all, and I’m not afraid to say that, even after all this time, that I’m not over you.

Feelings like that don’t disappear into thin air. You played a huge role in my future. Everything revolved around creating a life together while also finding our own success. I felt so close to the next chapter of my life, and as much as people advise me to move on, I can’t let your memory go that easy.

I had envisioned you by my side for the rest of my life. Although we’re no longer together, I’m not afraid to say you were a huge part of my life and that I need more than a few months and an online dating profile to forget you. To act like you never existed.

I have accepted the fact that you’re not a part of my physical life anymore. I have accepted that you have probably moved on, but that doesn’t mean that we never happened. It doesn’t erase you from my heart. I still think of every little thing you taught me like patience and self-love. I’m not scared to admit that I think about you more than I probably should, but it was because you were a milestone for me. You were my first serious relationship that I thought would last forever and ever. You were my first heartbreak.

I know our lives will go on without each other and that one day you won’t be so relevant and fresh in my mind, but I’m not ashamed to admit that that day isn’t today. I’m so grateful you happened to me.