I Want Nothing More Than To Forget You

I take two Advil every morning hoping that it’ll heal the gaping hole you put in my chest. Hoping that it will take away all the lies and deceit as well as the pain I feel tonight.

I wish on the shooting stars that clouds cover that you will be erased from my memories because you did nothing but bring me false hope and a life that wasn’t real and I resent you for that.

You treated me like a queen only to walk out my apartment door and leave the thought of me at my welcome mat.

You lived your life loving me at my apartment and on our date nights and our weekend mall trips and then lie, deceive, and betray me and not even have the decency to hide it. You never cared for me, you never loved me and I wish for nothing more than for you to disappear out of this small town, out of my life and out of my mind forever.

I also take two Advil every night because that’s when I think of you most. After those glasses of wine, when I’m staring at my ceiling and can’t find sleep but I find your name running in my mind at a speed that is unmeasurable.

At night, I sometimes wish you’d show up at my door and tell me you are sorry and that you can change and that you really did love me. Other times, I think back on where we went wrong and how I could’ve been so naive and not have realized it for months.

You are the human embodiment of the word “hate” because I hate you for making me so miserable in my own skin when I know I deserve so much better than you.

I’m sure that one day I will wake up and my gaping heart would have healed and the recurring memories of you will disappear and know that I pray for that day to come fast because I want nothing more than forget I ever knew you.

You will be a lesson I teach my future daughter. I’ll tell her to be aware of boys with two faces.